Equinox: At the Gate of Daybreak
by ForceForGood
Summary: When Voyager finds another Starfleet crew in the Delta Quadrant, it heralds a change not only in their fortunes, but in Janeway's personal life as well. When an unexpected discovery on the Equinox threatens her new hopes, she must make a difficult choice. A/U of Equinox two-parter with J/C focus. Now complete!
1. Chapter 1

_**Author's note:** This is an AU version of the two-parter "Equinox" I wrote with the intent of closing several plot holes, fixing the out-of-character behavior of Janeway in the episode, and fleshing it out with a strong J/C focus._

 _It's a sequel to my "Year of Hell, Season of Hope" AU, although it isn't necessary to read that story before reading this one. (Just know that in my story, the year of hell actually occurred, which means Voyager has now been in the Delta Quadrant a full year longer than in the canon universe.) I hope you enjoy!_

 _ **Disclaimer:** The Star Trek universe and characters aren't mine, I'm just having fun playing with them._

* * *

 **Chapter 1**

The blare of a red alert jarred Kathryn Janeway out of a sound sleep at 05:00. In an instant, she was wide awake and leaping out of bed. There was only one thing that could wake her up as fast as a cup of coffee, and that was a red alert. Nothing like a jolt of adrenaline in the wee hours of the morning.

Of course, in this case, she knew it was only a drill. There were advantages to being captain, and that was one of them. Belowdecks, she knew, Voyager's crew would already be scrambling for their stations, not knowing if they were about to face Borg, some faceless new foe, or simply an exacting Vulcan chief of security who would be scrutinizing their every move and criticizing them afterwards for every tactical mistake.

But Janeway was ready. Last night she had laid out everything she would need on her nightstand stacked it in the exact order she would need it. During the six years she'd spent in the Delta Quadrant, she'd seen more than her share of midnight emergencies. It was a delicate, carefully rehearsed ballet of movements that would get her dressed and to the Bridge in three minutes flat.

First, the nightgown came off over the head in one swift motion. Then the gray tank top was seized from the top of the stack and pulled over her head, followed by the gray long-sleeved mock turtleneck, which she fastened at the back of her neck with a slide of her fingertips. Then came the pants: step in, step in, pull up, tuck in shirt, zip up. She shoved her arms through the jacket's sleeves and zipped that too. Combadge already affixed. She sat on the edge of the bed and tugged on socks and then boots, and snapped the stirrups of her pant legs over the heels. She glanced at the chronometer. Two minutes down.

Almost there. She snatched up a brush and made her hair presentable. Done. And then she was out the door at a brisk pace, nearly barreling into Chakotay as she emerged into the corridor.

They caught each other's eyes and, without a word, broke into a run trying to beat each other to the turbolift. She managed to get in first, but only because he held back at the last instant, probably too gentlemanly to want to shove her out of the way. It didn't stop her from permitting herself a crooked smile as the doors slid shut.

"Bridge," she said in a triumphant tone. She glanced over at Chakotay expecting to see him glum about losing the race, but to her surprise he was grinning at her so widely that all the dimples had popped out.

" _What?_ " Janeway asked. "I won that one, fair and square."

Chakotay assumed a mock stern look. "You're out of uniform, cadet," he said.

Janeway quickly looked down. Both boots were on, nice and polished and shiny. The uniform looked fine. She put her hand up to the collar and felt it. One, two, three, four. All pips present and accounted for. She glared at Chakotay.

"I am not," she said.

The door to the turbolift slid open, and they were at the Bridge. Chakotay leaned close to her and murmured one word: "Earrings."

Janeway gasped and put up her hands. No! How could she have forgotten? As quick as she could, she turned to hide her face from anyone who might be looking, unfastened the studs and tucked them into her palm. Meanwhile, Chakotay casually strolled onto the Bridge and barked, "Report!"

Drat, blast and thunderation. He'd won that one, fair and square.

* * *

They spent the morning coping with the tactical scenarios Tuvok had cooked up for the crew, and then the afternoon was spent trying to catch up on all the normal duties for the day. With the early start they'd had, it turned out to be a long day. As Alpha Shift was ending, Chakotay asked Janeway if she still wanted to do their usual Tuesday night working dinner, or if she was too tired.

"No, let's go ahead with it," she said. "Tuvok just gave me his report on the drill and we might as well go over it. Unless you're too tired."

"Not me. What are we having tonight?"

"I hadn't thought about it. What about... Italian?"

"Been spending much time at da Vinci's studio lately?" he teased her.

"As a matter of fact, yes."

"I thought so. You said Italian last week, too."

"Did I? We can have something else."

"No, actually, Italian sounds good."

They went down to her quarters and started replicating food. In a few minutes they had everything ready and sat down to dinner. As they ate, they went over Tuvok's report and discussed his suggestions to improve crew performance, but before long they finished with the work and set their PADDS aside. The conversation turned to Italy. Chakotay had never been there.

"When was your first trip?" he asked her.

"I first went there when I was 10, for a family trip," Janeway said. " _I_ had voted to go to Switzerland to see the historic particle accelerator there. I was furious when my parents went with my sister's idea to go to Florence instead. Phoebe was really into her art lessons by then and she wanted to see Renaissance art. I was convinced it would be dull and boring and horrible."

"And was it?"

"At first I thought it was. Then we went to the Museo Leonardo da Vinci Firenze. I went in expecting to see a bunch of paintings and sculptures like we'd been looking at all day. Instead I found a whole room full of models of inventions, really fascinating things like flying machines and self-propelled carts and scuba gear and even a robotic knight. I had no idea any human had thought up such things back in the 1400s. I knew da Vinci had painted the Mona Lisa and The Last Supper but I didn't know he was a scientist as well. I just fell in love with him right then and there. My parents couldn't drag me out of that room."

Chakotay laughed. "And thus began a lifelong obsession."

Janeway nodded. "I was much more enthusiastic about my own art lessons after that. I figured if da Vinci had enjoyed it, there must be something to it. Do you want any more of this pasta?"

"Ugh, no," Chakotay said, standing up and stretching. "In fact, no more Italian at these dinners, Kathryn. It's too good and I ate way too much."

She raised her eyebrows. "I was about to say, care for dessert?"

"Yep. I thought you'd never ask."

Janeway laughed. "What would you like?"

He thought about it for a moment. "Hmm. Going with the Italian theme, I'd say... tiramisu."

"Your wish is my command." Janeway stood up and walked over to the replicator alcove. Chakotay followed her. "Tiramisu," she ordered, and a small plate of the layered dessert appeared on the pad. She handed it to Chakotay, who leaned back against the side of the alcove and started to dig in. Janeway leaned against the other side, facing him.

Chakotay paused on the way to his second bite. "Where's yours?" he asked.

"Oh, no. I really did eat too much."

"There's always room for dessert," Chakotay protested.

"My uniform begs to differ."

"Oh, come on. You know there's coffee in this, right?"

She gave him a mock glare. "Are you _trying_ to torture me?"

"I can't enjoy mine unless you're having some."

"Of course you can."

"Eat the dessert, Kathryn."

"No."

"Yes. Eat it. That's an order."

She laughed. "You can't order me around, remember? Who has more pips?"

"Irrelevant. We're not on duty. Here. I'll cut this one in half. I'll have half and you have half. That way we're both only being half-bad."

"Half-bad is too bad."

"It is not. Stop being difficult. I know you want some."

"What I want and what I do is not always the same thing," she countered.

"Touche. Here, then. Just one bite." He held the loaded fork out to her.

"Get that away from me!" She laughed and tried to push his arm away. "It has your germs."

Chakotay looked wounded. "There's nothing wrong with my germs. Here."

She tried again to fend him off. "Chakotay, if you get whipped cream on my uniform, I swear I'll..."

"You'll what? Throw me in the Brig?"

"I was going to say, kill you."

They stared at each other a moment, and then burst out laughing. It was a full minute before they could calm down enough speak again.

"Fine then, you win," Chakotay said with a sigh, taking a bite of tiramisu at last. "But next time, I'm going to make you eat dessert first."

"You can try." She leaned back against the side of the alcove and watched him eat until the dessert was gone and he had recycled the plate.

"Can I ask you a personal question?" Chakotay asked, folding his arms and looking at her intently.

"Here it comes," she said wryly. "Very well, permission granted."

"Do you always wear earrings in the middle of the night?"

It took her a moment to switch gears in her mind and remember what had happened that morning.

"Yes," she said. "Next question?"

Chakotay lifted his eyebrows in surprise. "What for?"

"Because I can't wear them when I'm on duty, and if I don't wear them at night the piercing will grow in."

"But if no one can see them..."

She gave him an amused look. " _I_ see them, every night in the mirror before I go to bed."

Chakotay regarded her for a moment, and then shook his head slowly. "You fascinate me," he said.

"How so?"

"I've seen you almost every day for the last six years, and here I was thinking I knew pretty much everything there is to know about you, and now I find out I didn't even know you wear earrings on a daily basis. Or nightly basis. It's like you have this whole secret world I don't know about."

She tilted her head and considered for a moment. "So I do."

"Really." Chakotay leaned forward. "Tell me all about it."

She shook her head with a small smile. "I can't. It's secret, remember?"

"Don't you trust me?"

"Perfectly."

"Then tell me," Chakotay said. "Tell me how to gain admittance to this secret world of yours."

Janeway considered for a minute. "Well, for starters, you have to ask very nicely."

"Done. Then what?"

"You have to be persistent. I don't always answer the door when I hear a knock."

"I see. Why not?"

Janeway shrugged a shoulder. "Too busy working."

"Maybe you work too much."

"Guilty as charged. But I don't always have a choice."

"You should just leave the door unlocked," Chakotay suggested, "so your friends could let themselves in."

"If I did that, I might let things _out_ as well as in."

"That doesn't sound so bad."

"You don't know what's in my secret world," she reminded him. "Dragons. Monsters. It can be a dangerous place."

"I think I'm willing to risk it."

She laughed a little. "Yes, but is the rest of the universe?"

"I've got it!" Chakotay said suddenly. "The perfect solution. How about you give me a key?"

She raised a skeptical eyebrow. "You want a key? To my secret world?"

"Then I can let myself in whenever I need to. No need to trouble yourself."

Janeway leaned back against the bulkhead and pursed her lips. "Interesting idea. I'll think about it."

"Don't take too long." Chakotay's dark eyes were locked on hers, and suddenly what had felt like teasing a moment ago didn't feel like teasing anymore. "I have all kinds of suspicions about what you keep locked in there," he murmured.

She couldn't look away from the intensity of his gaze, and to her dismay she realized that her heart was suddenly going a million miles a minute and her face was growing hot. She had no idea what to say, but it hardly mattered because she couldn't seem to make herself speak. He was standing so close to her that it was like staring into the white-hot center of a supernova, and all there was room for in her awareness was an all-consuming, burning curiosity to know what it would be like to kiss him. Just once. Just so she would _know_.

Her mother had always told her that curiosity would be the death of her.

She knew then that she had been careless to let the conversation get so out of hand, but it was too late to stop it now. The moment stretched out and the tension grew. It felt as though she were caught between Chakotay and the bulkhead behind her by some invisible force, and in vain she tried to think how to escape, but it didn't work because for some reason she had more than half a mind not to escape it at all.

Just when she thought she absolutely must speak, no matter how stupid the thing she said, lest Chakotay somehow figure out what it was she was _really_ thinking about, Janeway's combadge chirruped.

 _"Seven of Nine to Janeway."_

Janeway's relief was palpable. Bless Seven and her inadvertently impeccable timing. At last she managed to drag her eyes away from Chakotay and touch her combadge. In front of her, Chakotay slowly straightened up and backed away ever so slightly.

"Yes, Seven, what is it?"

 _"Captain, as I was attempting to fine-tune our long-range sensors in Astrometrics, I picked up on a signal being transmitted from a location 3.2 lightyears from here. It is a distress call."_

"I see. Did you inform the Bridge?"

 _"No. I thought you would want to see the message yourself. It is from a Federation vessel."_

"A _Federation_ vessel?" Janeway said, startled. She glanced over at Chakotay, who looked every bit as surprised by the news as she was. "Yes, thank you, Seven. I'll be right there."

When the connection cut off, Janeway cleared her throat and pushed off from the bulkhead. "Well, Commander," she said briskly, "what would you say about a walk to Astrometrics?"

"I thought you'd never ask."

* * *

 _"... Federation starship Equinox. We're under attack. We need assistance. This is Captain Ransom of the Federation starship Equinox. We're under attack. We need assistance..."_

Janeway stood on the platform in Astrometrics, staring up at the screen in fascination as the distress call clip played over and over. It was real, or at least it certainly seemed to be. She even recognized the man on the screen wearing a Starfleet uniform and pleading for help, although she'd never met him in person: Rudy Ransom, an exobiologist who had made quite a stir when he made first contact with a species the Federation had thought extinct. Starfleet Command had rewarded him for the accomplishment with a promotion to the rank of captain and command of his own ship for his research. He had a truly brilliant mind, and she had always wanted to meet him.

"What are they doing all the way out here?" Chakotay wondered.

"Perhaps they came to search for us," Seven said.

Janeway shook her head. "I doubt it. The Equinox is a Nova-class science vessel, built for a crew of 80. It's designed for planetary exploration, not long-range tactical missions."

"Where are they, Seven?" Chakotay asked.

"I have their coordinates," Seven said. "Heading 258 mark 12. But the distress call was transmitted approximately 14 hours ago. It may be too late."

"We've got to check it out, in any case," Janeway said. "I never thought we would find another Starfleet crew out here." She glanced over at Chakotay. "Commander, set a course, maximum warp."

"Aye, Captain."

When Chakotay had left, Janeway looked back up at the screen. Ransom looked exhausted, desperate, and the Bridge behind him was a smoking disaster. There was no way to tell exactly what was happening to the Equinox, but it looked as though they were in as dire straits as Voyager had been a year and a half ago after enduring months of vicious attacks by the Krenim.

"Hold on, Captain," she murmured. "We're coming as fast as we can."

* * *

With hours to wait before they would rendezvous with the Equinox, Janeway returned to her quarters. She began to clear away the dishes from dinner and recycle them in the replicator. At first, thoughts of the Equinox filled her mind - wondering how they had gotten here, and what kind of trouble they were in - but gradually she began thinking about what had happened tonight with Chakotay.

She was more than a little worried about it. After a year or so in the Delta Quadrant, their uneasy alliance had morphed into a good working relationship, and from there it didn't take long for a real friendship to emerge. It had brought her a lot of pleasure to be able to have someone to talk to and relax with after hours. Normally captains tried not to socialize too much with subordinates on their own ships, lest discipline should break down or accusations of favoritism emerge, but in this unusual situation where she had no equals to fraternize with and no way to go on leave, she had permitted herself the pleasure of Chakotay's company. He had been in command of his own vessel in his Maquis days, after all, and was therefore the closest thing to her equal. And out here in the Delta Quadrant where the occasional power struggles for promotions or sought-after transfers were suddenly irrelevant, she didn't think it could cause much harm to crew morale.

Then New Earth had happened, and suddenly that comfortable friendship began to be marred by bouts of unwelcome physical attraction. At first she didn't worry about it too much. Back then she had still harbored some hopes of getting back home in time to pick up where she had left off with Mark. She knew she had enough self-control, and Chakotay had always behaved appropriately, and it wasn't an issue.

Apparently something had changed.

She tried to put her finger on what had caused it. When had this started? Was it when she had finally taken Mark's picture off her coffee table and put it at the bottom of a drawer? How long had she and Chakotay been having these working dinners, and when had their friendly conversations turned into flirting? She stared at the table, and tried to remember when she had started decorating it with flowers and candles. It looked like she'd been on a date tonight. It _felt_ like a date. Why had she never thought of this before? She'd been so careful about the clothing. Once Chakotay had suggested they make these dinners civilian dress, and she had said no. Wearing a uniform was a good reminder to keep behavior professional. But tonight her uniform had let her down. Tonight her own good sense and self-control had fled.

She shouldn't have been caught off guard by this. Wasn't this just how it had happened with Mark? A long, slow slide into greater and greater intimacy, the changes coming so imperceptibly that she didn't notice until they had already happened. She should have known better this time. She should have seen this coming.

Now, she had to figure out what to do about it. If they were in the Alpha Quadrant, she could have taken the coward's option and transferred him away. Here, the obvious answer was to stop holding working dinners and go back to doing all business in her Ready Room or his office while they were on duty. Cut back on the off-duty socializing. Set some boundaries and stick to them. But she hated the thought of doing that. It felt too much like delivering a slap in the face to Chakotay. Maybe he would blame himself. And it wasn't his fault. He hadn't taken any liberties but the ones she'd given him.

And she really didn't want to give the dinners up. She didn't want to give this friendship up. The idea of spending more time alone, of going back to the days she had debated every night whether to eat in the Mess Hall and risk getting too much in the way of the crew on their off hours, or eat alone in her quarters, when she was so tired of eating alone... right now it felt overwhelming. But she had no idea where and how to draw the line with Chakotay anymore.

She had to figure it out, and quickly.

 **TO BE CONTINUED**

 _ **Author's note:** I welcome feedback! Please let me know what you think in the comments below._


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

"Captain," Tom Paris said, glancing back at Janeway from the helm, "we're approaching the coordinates."

"Red alert," Janeway said. "Take us out of warp."

"I've got them, Captain," Harry Kim said in just a moment. "The Equinox, two thousand kilometers off the port bow. They're moving at low impulse."

"Intercept. Can we get a visual?"

The viewscreen switched on. The Equinox glided alone in space, its hull pocked with holes and patches of thermal damage, both nacelles venting plasma. What was stranger, its shields were lit up with a constant barrage of crackling light, yet there was no sign of another ship firing on them.

"What's happening to their shields?" Paris said.

"They're being disrupted by energy surges," Tuvok said, looking at his console.

Janeway settled down in her chair. "Hail them."

"No response," Kim said after several moments.

"Keep trying, Harry. Any idea what's causing those energy surges?"

"I cannot pinpoint a source. However, their shields are nearly depleted," Tuvok said.

"Ideas?" Janeway asked.

"The Equinox is small enough that we could extend our shields around them," Chakotay said.

Janeway nodded. "Take us into position right above them, Tom," she said. "Tuvok, drop shields but be ready to get them back up as quickly as possible."

"Done. I am attempting to match their shield frequency," Tuvok said.

"Do you hear that?" Chakotay said.

Janeway paused to listen. There was an odd high-pitched sound resonating in the air all around them, at first very faint but rapidly growing louder.

"Anyone?" she said.

"They are interspatial fissures," Seven reported, staring intently at her console. "They're opening on Decks 10, 6 and 1."

The words were scarcely out of her mouth when a spot of bright blue light began to blossom in mid-air near the Science station.

"Phasers!" Chakotay warned, and in seconds everyone had their weapons out and trained on the fissure.

"Frequency matched," Tuvok's voice rang out over the noise. "Shields up."

Instantly the fissure disappeared and the high-pitched noise ceased. Cautiously, they lowered their phasers.

"The Equinox's shields have lost power," Tuvok reported, "but it appears our shields are effectively protecting us both. The attacks have ceased."

"Lieutenant Kim," Janeway said. "Any survivors?"

"I've got 35 lifeforms on board," Kim said. "But a lot of them are very faint."

"Begin beaming them all straight to Sickbay," Janeway said. "Inform the Doctor casualties will be arriving. Tom, you better get down there too."

"Good work, everyone," Janeway continued as Paris hustled off the Bridge and Baytart took the helm. "Now, let's see what we can do for the Equinox. Bridge to Engineering."

"Torres here."

"B'Elanna, I'd like you to take a team of engineers over to the Equinox. See if you can get those plasma leaks under control before we lose the warp core."

"Aye Captain."

"The rest of you, analyze the data and see what you can find out about those fissures and how we can protect ourselves if they return. I'll be down in Sickbay. Commander, you have the Bridge."

"Yes, ma'am."

* * *

Sickbay was already crowded with strangers by the time Janeway got down there. Dozens of Equinox crew members were sitting, standing, and lying prone around the perimeter of the room. Every bed was filled and the Doctor was bustling between them with his medical tricorder out, already snapping out orders for various medications to Paris. Apparently Megan and Jenny Delaney had been recruited to help with triage, because they too were bustling around, scanning each person in turn and then directing them to a different area of the room depending on the severity of their injuries.

Janeway hung back for a moment and studied the Equinox crew in dismay. Most of them were silent, content to hang back against the walls and watch the flurry of activity with dull gazes. A few of them were sobbing, and one or two were attempting to comfort their friends, but most just looked numb. They wore the same sort of vacant expressions she had seen years ago on the faces of her colleagues after a sustained firefight with the Cardassians.

The ones who were lying down had strange injuries visible on their bodies, with large patches of their skin dried and shriveled. It was these patients the Doctor was concentrating his efforts on.

She made her way over to the surgical bay and looked at the man lying unconscious there. He was wearing a red command uniform with lieutenant commander pips. He was rather handsome, in a Tom Paris sort of way, albeit with dark hair instead of blond. The front of his uniform had been cut open and she could see that the strange dessication was spread over most of his torso. The Doctor pressed the button to raise the biobed arch over the man.

"Doctor, report," Janeway said.

"Nine of them are suffering from some type of thermolytic reaction," the Doctor said, switching on the bioscanner. "It's desiccated every cell in their bodies. I've never seen anything like it. One of them told me they've been under attack by a nucleogenic lifeform, and that a single touch by the creatures can kill."

"I've never heard of nucleogenic lifeforms," Janeway said.

"Nor have I," the Doctor said. "Twenty ccs of inaprovaline." Paris pushed his way through a cluster of people to get to the medicine cabinet and back.

"Some of the others have burns from console explosions and lacerations from being pinned under wreckage," the Doctor continued, pressing the hypospray Paris handed him to the patient's neck. "As for the rest of them, medically they're well enough, but they've clearly experienced some type of psychological trauma. What they need more than anything is peace and quiet and a good square meal. There are signs of recent malnourishment."

"I'll send them up to the Mess Hall," Janeway said. "That should clear up some room in here for you to work."

"I would appreciate that. Mr. Paris, the deep tissue regenerator."

Janeway left the Doctor to his work and found Megan Delaney. "If you're finished with triage, take everyone who's been cleared up to the Mess Hall," she said. "See that Neelix gets them all something to eat."

"Yes, ma'am."

Janeway scanned Sickbay as Megan ushered many of the crew out into the corridor, and as the crowd began to clear she finally saw who she was looking for: Captain Ransom. He was sitting on a biobed and pressing a bloody bandage against his left temple, watching silently as the Doctor worked on the unconscious lieutenant commander.

"Captain Ransom," she said softly, touching his arm, and with a small start he turned toward her.

"Kathryn Janeway, U.S.S. Voyager," she said, holding out her hand, and he took her hand and shook it. "How are you feeling, Captain?"

He ignored the question, or maybe he hadn't even registered it. "Some of my crew are missing," he told her. His voice had the barest hint of a Southern drawl. "There should be five more of us here."

Janeway hesitated a moment. "We beamed all lifeforms aboard," she said gently. "I'm sorry, Captain."

His shoulders sagged. "I see." He took a deep breath and slowly let it out. "We'll need to retrieve their bodies, then."

"Of course," Janeway said. "I sent an engineering team over to lock down your warp core. I'll have them keep an eye out."

"Don't let them enter the science lab," Ransom said. "That whole section was flooded with thermionic radiation in the last attack." On the next biobed over, the young blond woman Paris was treating turned to look at Ransom briefly and then looked away again, her face impassive.

"I'll let them know," Janeway said. "Who was it attacking you?"

"We don't know," Ransom said. "We can't communicate with them. They've been attacking us for weeks."

"Is there anything our Doctor should know about how to treat these injuries?"

Ransom laughed hollowly. "No, your EMH is much more competent than the one on the Equinox. Ours can barely hold a laser scalpel. So... how's Earth?"

"I wish I knew," Janeway said. "We're just as lost as you are. We've been stranded in the Delta Quadrant for six years. We were pulled here against our will by an alien known as the-"

"-the Caretaker," Ransom finished her sentence. "Yeah, we met him." He sighed. "We had hoped Starfleet sent you to rescue us, but I should have known it was too good to be true." He was silent for a moment, and then asked, "Have you been able to make contact with them? Starfleet Command?"

"I'm afraid not," Janeway said. "Once we found a series of relay stations that reached all the way to the Alpha Quadrant, but a species called the Hirogen chased us off before we could get our message sent. The firefight set off a chain reaction that destroyed the network."

Ransom sighed. "So everyone back home thinks you're dead, too."

"So I would assume."

"You're free to go now," Paris told the blond woman on the next biobed. "Just take the turbolift up to the Mess Hall, Deck 2. That's where your crewmates were taken."

Suddenly she got a wild look in her eye, and looked at Ransom with a silent pleading.

"Marla doesn't do turbolifts," Ransom told Paris. "Tell her where the nearest Jeffries tube is."

"That's a three-deck climb," Paris said, "and I just treated her for third-degree burns-"

"You'll never get her in that turbolift," Ransom said. "She hasn't set foot in one in months. Marla, when you get up there, tell the crew not to overexert themselves or, uh, talk too much. They should take it easy. It's been a rough couple of days."

"Okay, Rudy," she said meekly.

Paris moved over to Ransom's bed, carefully removed the bandage from his head and activated a dermal regenerator. Sensing she was in the way, Janeway stepped back. "I'll go update my Away Team," she told Ransom. "I'll check in with you later after you've had a chance to eat and rest, and report on our progress."

"Thank you, Captain," he said. "It's real good to see a friendly face again. Real good."

* * *

 _Captain's log, stardate 53003.8_

 _We've learned more about the nucleogenic aliens that have been attacking the Equinox. The Equinox crew informs us that they emerge from interspatial fissures and wreack havoc on people and equipment with only a touch using some type of thermolytic reaction, but they can only survive a few seconds at a time in our realm._

 _Captain Ransom is convinced the aliens will return. His crew had begun to develop multi-phasic forcefields they believed would protect them from another attack. Ransom has downloaded their design schematics into Voyager's computer and we intend to try to create a latticework of forcefields around both ships. Once that's done, we can begin to address the extensive damage done to the Equinox._

 _We've planned a memorial service onboard Voyager for the five Equinox crewmembers who died in the latest attack by the aliens. Afterward we'll let the crews mingle and begin to get acquainted. I wish the circumstances of our meeting with the Equinox had been better, but nevertheless everyone is excited to get to know our new friends._

Janeway stood by as Ransom spoke to his crewmembers one by one after the memorial service, noticing how he gave each one a firm handshake or a touch on the arm, shared sincere condolences to those who had been particularly close to one of the deceased, and even gave out a few hugs. He was obviously an attentive captain and the crew clearly appreciated his efforts. But she couldn't help but be a little shocked at how Ransom's people, one and all, down to the lowliest crewman, called him "Rudy." She knew how adversity could affect discipline, remembering all too well how much of Voyager's year of hell in Krenim space had been spent with her crew - herself included - not even bothering to wear full uniform. But to completely drop all reference to rank seemed to her to be taking it a bit far.

Then she had to laugh at herself. Who was she to judge another captain on maintaining propriety? She had nearly kissed her own First Officer two nights ago.

She nearly jumped out of her skin when she suddenly found the First Officer in question at her elbow, holding out a champagne glass to her.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to startle you," Chakotay said. "Sparkling cider?"

"Thank you," Janeway said, accepting the glass and taking a sip, hoping it might hide the blush she could feel creeping across her face. Thank goodness Chakotay was not a Betazoid. There were times when she was very glad that her thoughts were only for herself.

She had been dreading this moment. She hadn't spoken to Chakotay since their dinner the other night, other than to give him orders. But it was inevitable they would have to. It might as well be here, safely surrounded by other people.

"It was a nice service," Chakotay said.

"Mmmm," she said.

A bit of silence.

"They seem to be a close-knit crew," Chakotay said.

"Yes, I thought so too."

More silence. Across the room, they could see B'Elanna Torres throwing her arms enthusiastically around one of the men from the Equinox. Janeway recognized him as the unconscious patient in Sickbay, the handsome lieutenant commander. "Where is my sweater?" they heard him asking B'Elanna. "The blue one? Class insignia on the back?" Next to them, Tom Paris was visibly annoyed. Harry Kim was grinning ear to ear.

"I guess they already know each other," Chakotay said in surprise.

"Looks like it."

"Who is he?"

"Not sure," Janeway said.

Another silence descended, this one the longest of all. Chakotay took a sip of cider, and then she did. Finally, Chakotay turned to her and said, "Can I say something? I think that-"

He never got to finish the sentence, because just then Captain Ransom approached them with the skittish blonde woman from Sickbay and his lieutenant commander in tow.

"Captain, I'd like to introduce my First Officer, Maxwell Burke," Ransom said.

Burke took Janeway's hand, grinning broadly, but he didn't shake it, instead bringing it up to his lips.

"Captain Janeway," he said. "You are a beautiful woman in a crew full of beautiful women."

"Well," she said, nonplussed. Involuntarily she glanced at Chakotay, who was fighting to hide a grin. "Uh... thank you." Hastily she added, "This is my First Officer, Commander Chakotay." The men shook hands.

"And this is Marla Gilmore, chief engineer," Ransom continued. "I don't believe we had a proper introduction earlier."

Gilmore was only an ensign. Janeway immediately guessed she must be a replacement for the ship's original chief engineer, who was presumably killed, and her heart was wrung with pity. The young woman had obviously been thrown in over her head on the Equinox's disastrous mission, and was now coping with post-traumatic stress on top of everything. Even here, in the safety of the Mess Hall surrounded by her shipmates, she looked nervous.

"Let's have a toast," Janeway proposed. "To kindred spirits. May our journey home together be swift."

"Hear, hear," everyone chimed in as they sipped their cider.

"You have a beautiful ship," Gilmore said. "So clean. I'm used to falling bulkheads and missing deck plates."

"You should have seen Voyager a year and a half ago," Chakotay said. "She was just as bad, maybe worse."

"What happened?" Burke asked him.

"A race called the Krenim. They used us as target practice for months on end. It took us a long time to piece the ship back together after that. The crew still calls it our year of hell."

Burke nodded. "We noticed your ship had significant work done on the hull, and in the interior too. We were pretty curious about the, uh, color choices."

Janeway smiled. She had grown to appreciate Voyager's new look, although it certainly was unconventional. The many damaged sections of the outer hull, once steel-gray, had been replaced by creamy white panels, giving the ship an odd two-tone look, and inside she looked even stranger, with every damaged section of corridor and many of the crew quarters re-paneled with a wide variety of soft colors, patched together with no apparent regard to human aesthetics.

"We were lucky enough to get some help from another people, the Garenorians," she said. "They made the repairs to Voyager, and since beggars can't be choosers..." She shrugged her shoulders, and Burke chuckled.

"I just hope we can patch the Equinox together as well," Ransom said.

"We'll certainly do our best," Janeway promised.

"Our engineer, B'Elanna Torres, said she saw some pretty elaborate modifications to your plasma injectors," Chakotay was saying to Gilmore. "She was afraid to tinker with it too much, not knowing what you were trying to do there."

"Oh, that," Gilmore said, glancing at Ransom and Burke. "Um, we were experimenting with ways to enhance our warp drive."

"Maybe you could beam back over with Torres and show her what you've done. She might have some ideas on how to improve it."

"Don't bother," Gilmore said quickly. "It won't work. We tried for months."

"Listen, Captain," Ransom said. "Would you excuse me? I hate to leave the party early, but I know those aliens are going to be back and I think I would feel a lot better if we had those multi-phasic forcefields in place sooner rather than later. I'm going to go work on the schematics."

"I'll come and help you," Janeway offered.

"I'd be glad of the company."

Janeway handed her glass to Chakotay and left him chatting with Burke and Gilmore as she left the Mess Hall with Ransom.

She took him to an unoccupied station in Engineering, and the two of them sat down together and began to look over the forcefield schematics the Equinox crew had drawn up.

"Can I ask you a question, Captain?" Ransom said as they studied the diagrams. "I noticed a lot of your crew are wearing provisional rank pins. Even your First Officer. Why is that? You have the authority to grant field promotions."

"It's because they were civilians when they joined my crew," Janeway said. "Voyager was assigned to capture a Maquis ship in the Badlands when the Caretaker pulled us, and the Maquis ship, to the Delta Quadrant. Then their ship was destroyed not long afterward, so we beamed the crew aboard, and they've been with us ever since."

Ransom looked at her in amazement. "And you integrated them into your crew?"

Janeway could not help but feel defensive. "Well, what was I supposed to do, abandon them on the nearest planet? I was their only ride home. Besides, I was shorthanded and they had useful skills. We needed each other."

"Oh, I wasn't criticizing, Captain," Ransom said in a placating tone. "I guess you've figured out, like we did, that the usual rules don't apply out here."

Janeway nodded. "I never realized before how much I took it for granted, back in the Alpha Quadrant, knowing that I had the might of the Federation behind me, even when my ship was the only one in a given sector."

"You could always call for backup, or to get guidance from a commanding officer..." Ransom continued.

"Other races would hesitate to attack you, knowing they would be dealing with military and political repercussions for years afterward..."

"Those were the good old days," Ransom said. "I wonder if they'll ever really understand, everyone back home, what we've experienced out here, and the decisions we've been driven to."

"I can't begin to imagine what _you've_ been through," Janeway said. "Your ship was designed for short-term research missions. Minimal weapons. Maximum speed of warp 8. And you told me you lost half your crew early on to the Krowtonian Guard. You've obviously come as far as we have, with much fewer resources. How did you get through Borg space? We only got past them with some help from a friend who developed psychokinetic powers."

Ransom paused for a long moment. "We got lucky. We found a wormhole," he said at last.

"I wish we had found it," Janeway said. "We nearly got ourselves assimilated." She found herself thinking of their brief alliance with the Borg, a decision that was going to be as difficult to explain to Starfleet Command as her decision to turn Maquis fugitives from justice into officers on her ship. And she thought of their desperation in Krenim space, how she had given the order to abandon ship, how the crew had ended up scattered across refugee camps and working for a pittance in mining facilities, how she and the senior officers had nearly starved to death as they tried to patch Voyager back together in the meantime.

"I've made a lot of choices I never thought I'd have to make..." she said slowly.

"So have I," Ransom said quietly.

Janeway took a deep breath and stood up. "I think I need a cup of coffee," she said, "or we're never going to get any work done here. Do you want some?"

"I haven't had a cup of coffee in a very long time," Ransom said. "I would love one."

"How do you like it?"

"Black, please. Cream and sugar just ruins the flavor."

A smile stole across Janeway's face. "Oh, you and I are going to get along together very well, I can tell." She went over to the replicator and came back with the coffee and they settled in to work.

They made good progress over the course of the next several hours. Ransom really did have a brilliant mind, as she'd suspected from reading his research papers years ago, and he and his crew had clearly spent a lot of time thinking through the implications of multi-phasic forcefields. When they were tired and decided to call it quits, Janeway walked Ransom back to the guest quarters they'd assigned him. They passed a lot of people in the corridors coming back from the Mess Hall gathering, Voyager and Equinox crewmembers now freely chatting together as they went. Ransom smiled to see it.

"My crew's pretty excited to have a fresh group of people to get to know," Ransom said. "And speaking of which, Captain, I have to apologize to you on behalf of Max for his rather impudent comment to you when you met. He isn't usually that brash, but with all the losses my crew has taken, it just so happened that we lost a lot more women than we did men, and let me tell you, Captain, having a crew of mostly men on a deep-space mission does strange and unpleasant things to morale."

Janeway laughed and held up a hand to stop him there. "I wasn't offended," she said. "It's just been a while since anyone called me beautiful. It isn't exactly the kind of thing a subordinate says to their commander."

"Did you stick with Starfleet's fraternization policies, then?" Ransom asked curiously. "We chucked those out the airlock a long time ago. As small as my crew is, it seemed insanity to limit their chances at happiness in any way."

They had arrived at Ransom's quarters. Janeway opened the door and led him in.

"Yes and no," she said. "We've been lenient about it - I've got two of my senior staff in a relationship right now - but we drew a hard and fast line at relationships between people who supervise the other."

"Well, where does that leave you?" Ransom asked. "You supervise everyone."

Janeway smiled wryly. "With not many options."

Ransom whistled between his teeth. "Good heavens, Captain. You've been out here six years. You're a patient woman."

He considered a moment, and then said with a hint of a grin, "You know, you don't supervise anyone on the Equinox."

Janeway was taken aback for a moment. "I hadn't even thought of that..." she said.

"Well, say the word, Captain. I'll introduce you to my transporter chief, James Morrow. He's a nice guy, and he has a terrible weakness for smart women."

She gave an embarrassed laugh, and her mind instantly flashed on Chakotay, and how he might react to something like that. Of course. She was beginning to develop a one-track mind about him, and it was getting aggravating. "Oh, I... doubt I'd have much time for something like that..." she said, stumbling over the words.

"I'll bet you could find the time. It's a long way home."

"Well. We'll see." She nodded to Ransom. "Good night, then. I'll have Engineering's Beta Shift work on the forcefield generator tonight. We'll get it up as quickly as possible."

"Thank you, Captain. For everything. Good night."

When she got back to her quarters, she felt unsettled enough that she decided to take a bath before she went to bed. Going into the head to start the water and change into a bathrobe, she heard a faint sound that made her press her ear against the bulkhead separating her quarters from Chakotay's. The bulkheads were not quite thick enough to block out all noise, and sure enough, there was music playing next door. She had thought he might be in bed by now, but apparently not.

She pulled her combadge off the uniform lying on the floor and pressed it. "Janeway to Chakotay."

"Chakotay here." She could hear his music more clearly now, a slow jazzy tune.

"How did it go tonight?" she asked.

"Really well. I think both crews had a good time. I got to know Marla a bit."

"Good. It seems like she's had a rough time of it. She could probably use a friend." Janeway sat on the deck and stretched out her legs in front of her. She wondered where in his quarters Chakotay was, if maybe he was just on the other side of the bulkhead behind her.

"Naomi Wildman came up to her and did her little Captain's Assistant routine," Chakotay continued over the comline. "She actually got Marla to crack a smile. She loosened up after that and told me about her family back home. And Kathryn... at the end of the night she asked me if she could transfer over to Voyager. She said she has a lot of bad memories from the Equinox and would rather not go back."

Janeway blew out a sigh. "I can't start taking Ransom's people away from him. Not unless we start sending some of ours over to him. He has a skeleton crew as it is."

"I guess that will be a whole kettle of fish for us to cope with soon," Chakotay said. "It would be nice to have transfers as an option again."

"Chakotay..." Janeway said. She was afraid to ask this, but the curiosity was driving her mad. "What was it you were going to say to me tonight? Before we got interrupted?"

"Oh, that?" Chakotay said. He paused. "Well, the truth is, Maxwell Burke beat me to it with the first words out of his mouth to you."

"What?" Janeway laughed. "I don't believe you."

"Believe what you want. He said it better than I was going to say it, though."

"I seriously doubt that. It would have sounded much nicer coming from you."

Chakotay cleared his throat. "Kathryn, you are a beautiful woman on a crew full of beautiful women."

Janeway buried her face in her hands and laughed. "I changed my mind," she said. "That sounds bizarre coming from you."

"You're right. I should have left out the part about the other women. That sounded a little creepy."

"Just a little. Oh, Chakotay, I get the horrible idea that Burke is like Tom Paris, only multiplied by a factor of 10. We're going to have to set up forcefields between him and all the beautiful women on our crew."

"You're more right than you know. B'Elanna admitted to me tonight that she dated Burke, back at the Academy."

"No!"

"Yes."

This time, they were both helpless with laughter for a while.

"All right," Janeway said at last, wiping the tears from her eyes. "That's it. I've had it for the night. I'll see you in the morning, Chakotay."

"Nighty-night. Don't let the Regulan bloodworms bite."

 **TO BE CONTINUED**

* * *

 _ **A/N:** I welcome your feedback!_


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3**

"So what do you think?" Maxwell Burke asked Rudy Ransom. "Can we get Janeway on board?"

Ransom sat down at the table in his quarters and pressed his lips together as he thought. "I'm not sure," he said at last. "She knows as well as we do what it's like out here, and it seems like she's been driven to desperation at times like we were, but at the same time... she's running a real tight ship here. Did you see the way they all "yes ma'am" her? She hasn't even eased up on fraternization, for the love of Pete. I just don't know, Max. She's difficult to read."

"Then we can't risk telling her just yet," Burke said.

"They're going to find out sooner or later, Rudy," Marla Gilmore said. She swallowed, her face tense. "As soon as they set foot in our science lab they're going to figure it out."

"Well then, we'll keep them out of there," Burke said. "They can't go in there as long as it's flooded with radiation. We have some time."

"Or what if they go into Sickbay and activate the EMH?" Gilmore whispered.

"They don't have any reason to turn him on," Burke said. "Relax, Marla, okay? We'll get through this just like we have everything else."

"All right. Let's figure out what we're going to do," Ransom said. "I'll keep working on Janeway, maybe take a look at Voyager's logs and see if that can give us some insight into her mind, but in the meantime we need to work on an alternate plan. Any ideas?"

"Yeah," Burke said. "If we can't get Janeway on board, we might try one of the several dozen ex-terrorists she has running around her ship. Ten to one, some of them must be sick to the teeth of toeing the Starfleet line."

Ransom nodded. "That's not a bad idea. We should start feeling out some of the Maquis."

"I'm having lunch with Torres tomorrow," Burke said. "She's a real spitfire, or at least she was when I knew her at the Academy. And she's a solid engineer, so she could really help us out with our warp core modifications if we could get her to join us."

"Good. Let me know how it goes. What about the First Officer? If we could get him, he could probably get the other Maquis in line, too."

"Marla was talking to him all night," Burke said. "Weren't you, Marla?"

"I guess so," she whispered.

"Try to get him alone tomorrow, Marla," Ransom said. "Make friends with him and find out how loyal he is to Janeway." He leaned back in his chair and stretched. "Well, I'm going to turn in," he said. "I haven't had a bed this clean and soft in a long time, and I intend to make good use of it while I've got the chance."

"The beds on Earth are even softer and cleaner," Burke said with a grin as he stood up to leave, and Gilmore followed suit. "Just think, we'll be there in a few months if we play our cards right."

Ransom knocked on the table. "Don't jinx us, Max. We better not count our chickens 'til they've hatched."

* * *

Janeway was looking over the latest reports in her Ready Room when the door chime sounded.

"Come in," she said, setting down her coffee cup and looking up from her screen.

Ransom came through the door with a jaunt in his step. "Good morning, Captain," he said.

"Good morning, Captain," she said with a smile. "Care for a cup of coffee?"

"Yes, please."

Janeway led Ransom over to the couch and picked up the coffee pot as he sat down to join her.

"The field generator's coming along nicely," she told him as she poured. "Another 24 hours or so and we should be online. Do you really think the aliens will come back?"

"They always do," Ransom said, accepting the cup with a thanks. "In the meantime, I was wondering if you could spare some people to work on our power grid today. It got pretty hammered in the last attack."

"Of course. I'd like to keep Torres here working on the generator, but I'll have her choose an Away Team."

"And what would you say to a First Officer exchange?" Ransom asked.

Taken aback, Janeway could only respond with a chuckle. "Well, Captain, I'm sure your First Officer is wonderful, but I've grown fond of mine."

Ransom smiled. "I just mean for today. Max can give Torres a hand with the generator here, and I think your man would be helpful over on the Equinox. I understand he used to command a ship of a similar size, and knows a thing or two about patching them up in the midst of a crisis."

Janeway shrugged a shoulder. "I'm sure he'd be happy to help."

"That's great." Ransom drained his cup and stood up. "Send Commander Chakotay over whenever you're ready. I'll be heading over now with Marla. By the way, would it be all right if I downloaded your logs into our computer? Once everything's settled down, we'd love to read about your adventures."

"Yes, of course. And I wouldn't mind taking a look at yours. Good luck with your repairs, Captain. I'll keep you updated on that generator."

When Ransom had left, Janeway leaned back on the couch and smiled ruefully to herself. For a moment she had thought Ransom was suggesting a permanent exchange of First Officers, a laughable thought. She could not even imagine commanding Voyager without Chakotay at her side. And how strange that was. She thought back to the moment when she searched for a pulse in Lieutenant Commander Cavit after their violent trip to the Delta Quadrant and realized her First Officer was dead. Back then she would have jumped at the chance to have a Starfleet officer ready to replace him. But now the thought of seeing Maxwell Burke sitting in the chair by hers on the Bridge was ridiculous. And the thought of Chakotay standing on the Bridge of the Equinox, answering to Ransom, was beyond ridiculous. He was the best First Officer she'd ever had. She would be crazy to let him out from under her direct command.

And then it hit her so hard that it made her head spin. Let him out from under her command...

Chakotay no longer had to be under her command.

She could transfer him. She could move him to another ship. He wouldn't have to take orders from her anymore. She wouldn't be his supervisor.

Hadn't she been wishing for that just the other day? Hadn't she wished for the option, the coward's option, of taking him off her ship so she no longer had to deal with the agony of daily interaction with someone she was attracted to but wasn't free to be with?

And now fate had handed her something even better. If she transferred him to the Equinox, they would no longer be bound by the fraternization policy. But they wouldn't be separated either. The two crews would be travelling together, sharing resources, making decisions together, going on shore leave together. She could still see him, and often. And if she wanted to... and if _he_ wanted to...

They would be free.

The sensation of relief that washed over her was so strong that it shocked her. She had been trying not to focus on herself and her own needs for so long. Too many other things to worry about. More important things, like keeping her ship in one piece and her crew alive and everybody moving in the direction of the Alpha Quadrant. Was she really as unhappy as that? Was she really that lonely, that the thought of being with someone again could hit her with such force?

Apparently she was.

She had always hated being alone. She'd been engaged to two different men now, and lost both of them due to circumstances beyond her control. Year by year her life ticked by, and they were years she would never get back. She didn't want to live alone, and she certainly didn't want to die alone.

Now she had a chance with a good man. And the only price she would have to pay would be to give up an incredible First Officer. It would be a hard choice, but the realization that she now _had_ a choice left butterflies in her stomach. Could she really give up Chakotay as First Officer? Would he even want to leave Voyager in return for being with her? They had learned how to work together so well, and all his friends were here.

And to take Burke in his place... Her lips curled in distaste. But maybe she wasn't being fair. She barely knew Burke. Maybe he was all right, once you got to know him.

Then again, she wouldn't have to take Burke as First Officer. Tuvok had the same rank as Burke but more seniority. She could make Tuvok First Officer. She knew she could rely on him. And Burke could take over at Tactical. Maybe he wouldn't like that. It would feel like a step down. But being third-in-command of a Intrepid-class starship was as prestigous as being second-in-command of a Nova-class starship, really. And - a crooked smile touched her lips - maybe Burke really would be motivated to move over to a ship with all the "beautiful women" he had referred to. Well, that was a stretch. He might have been joking about that. She would have to give the matter some more thought.

It was all hypothetical, anyway. There was no use discussing this with anyone in question until they had finished the multiphasic forcefield generator and gotten the Equinox shipshape again. She would keep this to herself until then.

* * *

"You wanted to see me, Captain?"

Janeway smiled at Chakotay and patted the Ready Room couch beside her. As he came around the coffee table to sit by her, she explained, "Captain Ransom was just here and we made some plans for today."

"Nice to see you make a new friend," Chakotay said. "How does it feel to have someone who doesn't have to "yes ma'am" you?"

"It's a refreshing change. He asked if you could go over this morning and help oversee repairs on the Equinox."

"Fine by me." He paused a moment, looking at the plate on the coffee table in front of Janeway. "Is that what I think it is?"

"Tiramisu? Mmm-hmm."

A grin stole across his face. "So you decided to be bad after all."

"No," she said defensively. "I'm being very _good_ , and eating breakfast for a change. I believe you were the one who pointed out that it has coffee in it?" She took a bite. "Want some?"

"I thought you'd never ask."

She got Chakotay his own tiramisu, and they sat down to eat together.

"I'm going to have to do an extra boxing session tonight to work this off," Chakotay said. "I feel like a little kid sneaking candy."

"Let's hope no one rings my chime just now, or we'll be caught," she said, laughing. "Luckily I already got rid of Tuvok and Seven and sent them to the Equinox, too. Can you imagine Tuvok's reaction? 'Eating unhealthy desserts before noon is not logical, Captain.' And Seven would say, 'It is not an efficient use of resources.'"

Chakotay laughed, and then shook his head and looked at her with a twinkle in his eye. "You are in such a mood today. You aren't usually a morning person. What is going on here?"

Janeway took a bite, and shrugged. "I've been thinking. It's going to make a big difference, being able to travel with a sister ship from now on. Just think of it. It'll be a deterrent for anyone who might think to attack us. And we can help each other with repairs, or split up to cover more space when we're exploring an area. Just having a fresh group of faces will shake things up. We should institute some kind of weekly exchange; maybe every Friday night we could plan social events and the crews can visit each others' ships for a couple of hours. It would help with cabin fever and give everyone something to look forward to."

"I bet Neelix would love planning something like that." Chakotay hesitated a moment, and then said, "I hate to throw cold water, but looking at B'Elanna's report, it seems like the Equinox's primary systems are pretty damaged. Are you sure it wouldn't be better to cannibalize their ship for parts and bring everyone onboard? Their crew is less than half the size it should be, and we're a little shorthanded ourselves after our own losses. We might have to convert some storage spaces into quarters, but I think we could take on everyone."

Janeway was already shaking her head. "I know it's going to be a chore, but I think it would be better to fix up the Equinox. She's no worse than Voyager was after the year of hell, and I don't think we should walk away from all the advantages two ships will give us. Besides, what would I do with another captain on my ship? I don't even know what I could assign him to that wouldn't be humiliating."

"I suppose so," Chakotay said. "Well, I'll do my best, then."

"I know you always do. Are you done with that? We better hide the evidence."

Snickering like children, they recycled the plates. When Chakotay had left to beam over the Equinox, Janeway went down to Engineering to check on the progress of the field generator. And the smile didn't leave her face the whole morning.

* * *

"Commander, can I ask a question?" Gilmore said that afternoon as she and Chakotay worked at the Equinox's primary Engineering station to pinpoint the location of yet another electrical short in the power grid. "I guess you must be one of those who used to be Maquis?"

"That's right," Chakotay said.

"Maybe it isn't my business," she said timidly, "but it must have been difficult, ending up back on a Starfleet ship, wasn't it? Having to put on the uniform and go back to all those rules and regulations, I mean."

"I don't mind talking about it," Chakotay said. "Yes, it was rough going at first. There were discipline problems. Some of my crew had trouble adjusting to it all. A few of them even turned traitor, but they're not with us anymore." The console he was using went suddenly black, for the third time in the last half hour. "There it goes again. Hand me another one of those power packs, Ensign."

"And what about you?" she asked, crossing over to dig around the supply crate they'd brought over. "Wasn't it hard for you, having to take orders from the captain who was sent to arrest you?"

Chakotay was quiet for a moment. "You're right, it wasn't easy, but it helped that Captain Janeway was understanding of the situation. From the very beginning, she made an effort not to treat us like criminals. She gave us all the powers and privileges of the rest of her crew from the day we came aboard."

He plugged the spare power pack Gilmore handed him into the console, and the flickering lights grew steady once more.

"And after a while, she... started reminding me of everything I had once loved about Starfleet," he continued. "She was curious about every stellar phenomenon we passed and always wanted to stop and study them, and when we traded with people we met it was never enough for her to simply get us what we needed, she wanted to find out all about them and leave them with a good impression of us. She knew how to bend when I had different ideas about how to handle problems, but she was firm about sticking to her principles. I had forgotten how much I missed all of that. In the Maquis we didn't think about anything but hitting the Cardassians as hard as we could, and staying alive as long as we could. I guess for me, being on Voyager was like learning to ride a bike again. It just all came back. The idealism. The sense of adventure." He paused. "I really missed that."

Gilmore absorbed all of this thoughtfully. "If you loved Starfleet so much, why did you leave? If you don't mind me asking, sir?"

"No, it's all right," Chakotay said. "I guess I reached a point one day when I hated the Cardassians more than I loved Starfleet. They destroyed my home colony and kept on destroying more. The Federation wouldn't fight them, and I felt they had to be stopped, and if the Federation wouldn't do it then I would have to do it on my own. So I resigned and put together a crew of my own."

"That must have been a difficult choice," she said.

"It was. But it's all water under the bridge now. There aren't any Cardassians out here and the whole point has become moot, at least until we get home. We aren't sure what will happen then, but Captain Janeway has promised to advocate for us."

Gilmore looked at him with wide eyes, and then said slowly, "I guess you got lucky. Not everyone would be so forgiving. It sounds like she's a good captain."

Chakotay nodded, and smiled. "A good captain, and a good friend. It's funny to hear you ask about the Maquis issue. I don't think any of us really think about it much anymore. We're just... Voyager crew now."

A high-pitched sound lanced through the air, and Gilmore cried out wordlessly and snatched her phaser out of its holster, backing up so quickly that she bumped into Chakotay and they both staggered against the bulkhead. Gilmore crouched down and reached up to grab Chakotay's arm and drag him down under the console with her.

"They're coming!" she shouted. "They're coming through!" Her eyes darted around the room, trying to spot an opening fissure. The sound faded, revived, faded again.

Chakotay pulled his phaser out too, and hit his combadge. "Chakotay to Voyager. Report!"

"The aliens are attacking us again, but shields are holding," Kim said. "Captain Janeway is on her way to the Bridge now. She wants everyone on the Equinox recalled to Voyager, just to be safe."

"Understood. I'll take care of it."

The comline cut out, and Chakotay tried to stand up, but Gilmore grabbed him and tried to hold him back.

"No! Don't go out there!" she cried. "You have to stay sheltered, so they can't come from behind-"

"Shields are holding, Ensign," Chakotay said. "It's all right. I'm just going to make a shipwide announcement for everyone here to prepare for transport. Can you help me?"

She opened her mouth and closed it again, terror radiating from her face. She was holding the phaser so tightly that her knuckles were white.

"Never mind. Stay here," Chakotay said. "I'll take care of it."

* * *

In the crowded dinner rush of Voyager's Mess Hall, Captain Ransom, Maxwell Burke, and Marla Gilmore hunched over a table in the corner, eating Neelix's hot plomeek casserole and talking quietly so that their voices wouldn't carry over the clatter of dishes. Outside the windows, blue energy lashed at the shields. Gilmore was careful to sit with her back to it, but even so she was in obvious discomfort, hardly able to eat.

"Did you find out anything more about Janeway?" Burke asked Ransom.

"I've been looking over Voyager's logs," Ransom said, "and it doesn't look promising. There were a couple of times I guess you could say she bent the Prime Directive, but she's never broken it. And she had chances, too. For the love of Pete, their first year in the Delta Quadrant they found a race with a spatial trajector that could have sent them home in a matter of days, but she apparently loved her principles too much to steal one." Ransom pinched the bridge of his nose and sighed. "Let's forget about Janeway. I don't think she'll help us. Marla, what did you find out from Chakotay?"

"I don't think that's any good, either, Rudy," Gilmore said, putting down her fork. "Whatever he was before, he's loyal to Captain Janeway now. He called her a friend. I don't think he would do anything against her. And it sounds like his people are all counting on her to help them out when they face trial back home. I doubt they would be willing to risk losing that."

Ransom's shoulders slumped. "Well, I guess it was worth a try. Max, what about Torres? Any progress there?"

"She's been thoroughly domesticated," Burke said in disgust. "All she can talk about is improving the efficiency of her warp core and playing Parrises Squares with her hotshot boyfriend. I don't know what they did to her, but you can barely tell she's Klingon anymore."

Ransom tapped his fingers impatiently on the table. "All right. Well, the Maquis angle is a bust, then. We'll have to move to Plan B: go it alone. We did it before and we can do it again."

"Rudy," Gilmore said hesitantly. "Maybe it would be better if we just gave up. Just forget about everything that's happened and stay with Voyager and get home that way. Things will be so much better now that we have a sister ship. It won't be so bad if it takes us a little longer to get home..."

"A little longer?" Burke scoffed. "We're still 40 years away. Come on, Marla. We've gone this far already. We might as well finish it out."

"Marla, why don't you go over and sit with Naveen and Sally?" Ransom said. "Max and I have a few more things to discuss."

"Okay, Rudy," she whispered.

"Women," Burke snorted when Gilmore had gone. "Nice to look at, but too bloody soft."

"We've got to be careful around her," Ransom said. "She's gotten comfortable here awfully fast. I guess a hot meal and a shower are all it takes to make us forget what's at stake." He rubbed his face and thought for a moment. "We need to figure out how to get our hands on that field generator before we go," he said. "There's only another day left before the radiation in the science lab dissapates."

"I took the liberty of hacking into an Engineering console this afternoon," Burke said. "I've got Torres' command codes. I can override the security measures in Engineering if we need to, and hijack the transporters, too. We can get in, grab the generator, and beam out."

"It won't be that easy," Ransom said. "The generator is located on Deck 11, next to the warp plasma manifold. Even if you can turn off the internal sensors in that section, we can't get a clean transporter lock without boosting the signal. Someone will have to crawl through the access port and set up transport enhancers. And someone else will have to disengage the power couplings."

"We'll work it all out," Burke said. "I'll talk to everyone and make sure everything goes according to plan. Without the forcefields, Voyager will have the aliens to deal with, and we'll be able to get away."

"Thanks, Max. I knew I could count on you." Ransom took another bite of casserole. "You know, this isn't bad. It's a shame we didn't find ourselves a cook, too."

"Wait a few more months, and I'll take you to my cousin's restaurant in Calgary," Burke promised. "You haven't tasted steak until you've tasted his."

 **TO BE CONTINUED**

* * *

 _ **A/N:** Thank you to those who are leaving reviews! I appreciate you taking the time to give some feedback!_


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4**

"We have a problem," Tuvok said.

Janeway swiveled her computer screen away from her and gave Tuvok and Seven her full attention. "You ran into trouble fixing the power grid on the Equinox?"

"No, Captain," Tuvok said. "The work was proceeding on schedule before we evacuated, but as Seven was working on Deck 7, she ran a level 3 diagnostic and found something unusual."

Seven spoke up. "I discovered that three EPS conduits had been rerouted into the science lab. They are the cause of the thermionic radiation that has contaminated that section."

Janeway looked at them blankly. "Rerouted EPS conduits? Why would they do that?"

"I can think of only one explanation," Tuvok said. "The Equinox crew intentionally contaminated the lab. According to computer logs, the incident occurred just as we arrived in response to their distress call."

She sat up and shook her head slightly. "But why would they do that? Ransom has said nothing about their lab..." She paused, and added with dawning realization, "...other than to warn us not to go in..."

"Clearly, there is something in the lab they do not wish to be seen."

Janeway took a long moment to absorb that, then said, "How long until the radiation dissipates enough to enter the lab?"

"At least twelve hours," Seven said.

"I don't want to wait that long. Send the Doctor. He'll be immune to its effects."

"Shall I notify Captain Ransom?" Tuvok asked.

"No. Not yet. I want to wait until we test your theory. There may be an innocent explanation, but let's make sure. Dismissed."

* * *

 _Captain's log, stardate 53004.5_

 _The Doctor has made a disturbing discovery in the science lab of the Equinox. It seems the crew has been converting the bodies of the nucleogenic lifeforms into some type of crystalline compound which they then use to feed their warp engines. Their research logs are encrypted and the Doctor was unable to access them, but judging by the file headings it would appear they have performed this procedure dozens of times to speed their journey home._

 _Given that a violation of the Prime Directive has occurred, I've ordered the Equinox crew to be confined in Cargo Bay 1 and questioned individually. A part of me can't help hoping that an innocent explanation may yet emerge, but I fear that desperation may have driven Captain Ransom to compromise the principles of the Federation._

 _The one piece of encouraging news is that we were able to bring the new field generator online an hour ago, only minutes before our shields failed, and so far the forcefields appear to be effective in repelling the alien attack. Still, they may be back, and we have no way to communicate with them and make our apologies for what's been done._

"Captain, I have completed the interrogations of the Equinox crew," Tuvok said, standing stark upright in Janeway's Ready Room.

"And?"

"I regret that most were uncooperative," Tuvok said. "Clearly, they were ordered not to speak to us. However, five of them gave me confessions nonetheless: James Morrow, Brian Sofin, Angelo Tessoni, Edward Regis, and Marla Gilmore. I have their statements in full here." Tuvok handed Janeway a PADD.

"In summary?" Janeway asked, taking the PADD.

"It seems that after their losses to the Krowtonian Guard, the crew were in desperate straits," Tuvok said. "Their ship was badly damaged and running on thrusters because their dilithium was gone. They were also out of food. They had just enough power to enter orbit of an M-class planet occupied by a telepathic race known as the Ankari. These people had not yet achieved warp technology, but they were generous and provided food to the Equinox crew. They also permitted them to mine the planet for dilithium crystals."

Janeway could not help but think of the Garenorians and the kindness they had shown her own crew after their near-destruction in Krenim space.

"The Ankari performed a sacred ceremony for the crew," Tuvok continued, "summoning a spirit of good fortune from another realm to bless their journey. That 'spirit' was one of the nucleogenic aliens. Captain Ransom obtained a summoning device from the Ankari, hoping he could communicate with the aliens and ask them for nucleogenic energy to power his warp core. However, when they trapped an alien inside a forcefield, it quickly died from exposure to our realm."

"And so they decided to shovel its body into their warp core?" Janeway finished with disgust.

Tuvok lifted an eyebrow. "An oversimplification, but in essence, yes. For months now they have continued to summon the aliens, trap them in forcefields until they die, and convert their bodies into energy."

Janeway felt a cold anger wash over her. "Just so they can get home a little quicker."

"So it would seem."

"Thank you, Tuvok. What did you do with the five informants?"

"I returned them to Cargo Bay 1 with the others, and instructed them not to reveal to their shipmates that they had cooperated with us. If the others remain uncooperative, they may continue to be useful as informers."

"A prudent precaution. And Ransom?"

"He would not speak with me. I deemed it wise to separate him from his crew. He is now confined in the Brig."

Janeway stood. "I'll speak to him now."

"Very well."

* * *

Crewman Murphy stepped aside from his post in front of the door to the Brig to let Janeway in. Inside, Lt. Andrews stood at the security console watching over Captain Ransom, who was pacing inside the cell.

Janeway touched Andrews on the arm. "Why don't you wait outside, lieutenant."

When Andrews had gone and the two captains were alone in the room, Ransom stopped pacing and looked at her expectantly.

Janeway didn't bother to mince words. "You know the reason these aliens have been attacking," she said with steel in her voice. "They've been trying to protect themselves... from _you_. You've been lying to me since the day you set foot on my ship."

Ransom laughed humorlessly. "You think I enjoyed that? I didn't know if I could trust you. I didn't know if _you_ would trust _me_. You think I didn't want to tell you the truth?"

"I don't know what to think. You didn't find a wormhole across Borg space, did you? You used the first nucleogenic lifeform's body to speed your way across. You traveled 10,000 lightyears in two weeks. Convenient, wasn't it?"

"It was already dead," Ransom barked. "It was an accident. What would you have done?"

"But it wasn't enough for you," Janeway continued. "You decided you had to replenish the supply. And that meant killing another lifeform, and another. How many have you killed? How many more would you have killed before you got back to the Alpha Quadrant? Fifty? A hundred?"

"It's easy to cling to principles from where you're sitting, isn't it, Captain?" Ransom said scathingly. "Your ship is intact, your crew healthy. Don't you understand? We were starving!"

"We starved too!" Janeway snapped. "And we never dreamed of doing something like this. If we lose our principles we lose our humanity. You swore as Starfleet officers to seek out new life, not destroy it!"

"We don't even know if they're sentient-" Ransom protested.

"That doesn't excuse what you've done!"

"Starfleet regulation 3, paragraph 12," Ransom said. "In the event of imminent destruction, a captain is authorized to preserve the lives of his crew by any justifiable means." He recited the words glibly, as though he had practiced them many times over.

"You think you can justify mass murder?"

"I think I can justify doing whatever I have to, to take care of my crew. You should know better than anyone, Captain. You know what it's like out here. You would do anything for your crew, wouldn't you?"

Janeway stared at him. "This is what you call taking care of your crew? How many of your crew have been killed by these aliens now? _You're_ responsible for their deaths-"

"I _know_!" Ransom cried out, anguish in his eyes. "I know my responsibilities, there hasn't been a day when I didn't think of it-"

"-and now you've put my crew in jeopardy as well," Janeway continued relentlessly. "If any of them dies, their blood will be on your hands, and I will hold you responsible, Captain, so help me!"

"Don't you understand?" Ransom shouted. "I didn't have a _choice_!"

Abruptly he sat on the bench in his cell, chest heaving, and said nothing more. After a long silence, Janeway spoke up.

"Be that as it may, now you really don't have a choice," she said coldly. "I'm putting your little experiments to an end. We're going to have to figure out how to communicate with these aliens and make peace with them, if it's not too late. You are hereby relieved of your command. You and your crew will be confined until further notice."

Ransom looked up, his passion spent, his voice raw as he spoke. "Please," he said, "please show them leniency. They were only following my orders."

"I'm tired of hearing excuses." Janeway turned to leave, but just before she got to the door, she turned around.

"It would have changed everything, you know," she said quietly. "Being together, our two ships." She felt a muscle in her jaw twitch. "You've spoiled everything."

She stepped back, and the door swished open. But when she turned to exit, she found a phaser pointed at her chest, and above it, Maxwell Burke's blue eyes boring into hers. Involuntarily she gasped.

Behind Burke, she could see Andrews and Murphy crumpled on the floor of the corridor, and three more Equinox crewmembers standing there with phasers trained on her.

Silently, Burke pushed Janeway back into the room at the point of his phaser, never taking his eyes off her for a second. Behind her, she heard Ransom jump to his feet. "Max!" he exclaimed.

"Turn off the forcefield," Burke said to Janeway.

Her only answer was to hit her combadge. "Janeway to Security, intruder alert in the Brig!"

There was no answer. Burke smiled and shook his head. "We cut the comlines. The Bridge doesn't know anything. Turn off the forcefield... Kathryn." All four of the Equinox people were in the Brig now, having dragged in Andrews and Murphy with them.

"You'll have to shoot me."

Burke raised his eyebrow. "Well, if you insist."

"Max!" Ransom warned. "Hold on a minute. Where's the rest of the crew?"

"Beamed onto the Equinox straight from the Cargo Bay," Burke said, "except Lessing and Bowler. I did a site-to-site and sent them to Engineering. They should have the field generator any moment. We can go as soon as we get you out of that forcefield, Rudy."

Janeway glanced back at Ransom. "Is this what you want, Captain? To go to war against each other? If you take that field generator, you'll kill us all."

"You have an intact ship, a full crew, weapons, shields," Ransom said. "You'll figure out something. You go home your way and we'll go home ours. Everyone wins."

Suddenly the red alert klaxon blared, and over it they could hear the faint high-pitched noise that precluded the arrival of the nucleogenic aliens. There was no mistaking the fear in the eyes of the Equinox crew at the sound.

"That'll be the field generator gone," Burke said. "I highly recommend you turn off that forcefield, Kathryn. If you make me stun you, you and your men are going to be helpless if a fissure opens up in here. Inside that cell is the safest place for you. I'll even be nice enough to turn the forcefield back on before we go."

Slowly Janeway turned around and tapped her security codes into the console. "We'll follow you," she said to Ransom as the forcefield disappeared. "We will never stop hunting you. As you have hunted _them_."

"Sure, you do that," Burke said, pushing her into the cell. The others picked up Andrews and Murphy and carried them in. "But you may be interested to know that if you go to warp with any fissures open, they'll tear holes in your ship. We learned that the hard way, didn't we, Rudy?"

The high-pitched whine had reached a fever pitch, and a swirl of blue light opened up in the room. The Equinox people scrambled to get away from it.

"Max, we've got to go!" Ransom called.

"Computer, initiate Burke Omega-Epsilon-five!" Burke shouted as he reactivated the cell's forcefield, and moments later he, Ransom and the other three disappeared in a transporter beam.

Inside the cell, Janeway quickly bent down to check on Andrews and Murphy. Their pulses were steady, but they had both been stunned directly in the chest and she could not wake them. The pitch of the alien sound intensified until it hurt her ears and she saw the blue swirl in the air on the other side of the forcefield widen. She straightened up in time to see something come swooping out of the fissure and rise up to hover in the air in front of her.

It was strange and ethereal, the nucleogenic alien, smaller than she was, with two outstretched arms and webbing almost like wings stretching down the length of its swishing tail. The webbing was thin, delicate, translucent. The alien looked almost butterfly-like, though less colorful. Two beady black eyes stared out at her from its diamond-shaped head.

Half afraid, half in awe, Janeway slowly spread out her hands so it would see she wasn't armed.

"I'm sorry," she said softly. "We don't mean you any harm. Can you understand me? I'm sorry. We didn't know what the others like us were doing. We want to stop the killing. It isn't who we are-"

The creature bared its teeth and let loose a horrible shriek. Janeway jumped back and nearly fell over Murphy as it slammed its body against the forcefield once, and then twice, trying to get at her. Then it went mad, smashing itself against the bulkheads, the consoles, the ceiling, howling and shrieking all the while. Her universal translator could make no sense of the noise. She feared that at any moment, if it struck the equipment in here in just the wrong way, it might short out the forcefield and leave the three of them exposed.

But fortune was with her. The frenzy lasted less than a minute, and then the creature flew back through the fissure and vanished as quickly as it had come.

* * *

The senior staff gathered, grim-faced, in the briefing room. Although the Bridge had managed to get Voyager's regular shields back up by the time a security team arrived to release Janeway and the guards from the Brig, power was being depleted rapidly by the alien barrage, and every so often they would hear that alarming sound that meant a fissure was on the verge of opening. They were all as jumpy as cats, keeping a grip on their phaser handles even though there were security officers in the room to watch their backs.

"Report," Janeway said.

"The entire Equinox crew beamed off the ship with the generator," Chakotay said. "They brought the multiphasic shielding online and went to warp, and they took Seven with them. As long as we're under attack we're not going to be able to follow."

"How did they hijack our transporters?" she demanded.

"They used B'Elanna's command codes," Chakotay said.

A glance at Torres showed a dangerous fire was snapping in her eyes. "Max," she ground out, and didn't say anything further. She didn't need to.

"Change those codes," Janeway said.

"We already did," Chakotay said.

Janeway sighed. "Our shields?"

"At 32 percent and falling," Tuvok said.

"What about that second field generator we had started to construct for the Equinox?" Janeway asked. "How long before we can get that up?"

"Eight hours," Torres said. "Maybe we can speed it up a bit if you give me more people, but I have to say, it's hard to concentrate on the work when you feel like you're going to die at any moment."

"Tuvok, send as many security officers as we can spare to keep the Engineering team covered as they work," Janeway said. "Maybe we can seal off parts of the ship and gather the crew into larger groups so we can defend ourselves more effectively. Were there any casualties before we got shields back up?"

"Two dead and 13 wounded," Paris said. "The Doctor's down in Sickbay working right now."

"Who was killed?" she asked, steeling herself.

"Claudia Craig and Jay Lyman."

Janeway felt fury erupt deep inside her, but with heroic effort she kept it tamped down. "Can someone please explain to me how Burke and his team got out of that Cargo Bay, armed with phasers?" she asked.

"My security team is still unconscious in Sickbay," Tuvok said. "However, the Doctor was present when the shooting began. He told me he had gone in to administer inoculations for a mutagenic virus the crew had been exposed to. He said he observed the Equinox crew pulling phasers from hiding places in the storage crates. I have not yet determined when and how they placed them there. They were able to overpower my team, while The Doctor deactivated himself to avoid the phaser fire. Mr. Neelix later found his mobile emitter and returned him to Sickbay."

"How did they get Seven?" she asked.

Chakotay spoke up. "I had ordered her to beam over and try to decrypt the Equinox research logs, in case there was information in there to help us communicate with the aliens. She was still onboard when they went to warp. I'm not sure they intended to take her."

"I need everyone to-" she began, but she was interrupted by a call from Ayala. "Bridge to Janeway. There are fissures opening on Decks 7, 8 and 11. Lateral shields are offline!"

Everyone in the room bolted out onto the Bridge.

"Reroute power!" Janeway ordered. "Harry, try a deflector pulse to buy us a few seconds."

After a minute of frantic work, the high-pitched noise gradually dissipated once more, and Kim reported with relief, "Fissures have closed. Two more injured are being taken to Sickbay."

"What happened?" Janeway demanded. "Shields were holding."

"Apparently, the aliens began to focus their attacks on a single shield vector," Tuvok said, studying his console. "It collapsed before the auxiliary emitters could respond."

Janeway rubbed her temples wearily. "B'Elanna, we've got to get that second field generator going as quick as we can. We may have less time than we thought. Take as many people as you need. Harry, keep working on the translation matrix. Everyone else, I want you to be thinking of ways we can capture the Equinox without destroying it, once we catch up to them. Let's get to it."

Sitting down in her captain's chair, Janeway pulled up the Equinox specs on her console and began going through them. Chakotay sat down in his chair and looked at her questioningly.

"Captain," he said quietly. "Wouldn't it be easier to just target their warp core and beam the crew aboard before it blows? It may placate the aliens if they saw their tormentors destroyed. With the Equinox gone, maybe the attacks would stop."

"No. We should save the ship if we can."

"How do you intend to keep 35 in custody over here, and send over that many of ours to keep the Equinox running? We don't have enough people."

"We'll have to cross that bridge when we come to it," Janeway said. "The five who informed for us, at least, could be trusted to join us. Some of the others may follow suit once they see their captain defeated. Who knows how many of them didn't want to go along with what happened, but felt they had no choice?"

Chakotay dropped the subject and started looking at the Equinox specs with her. But Janeway hardly saw the screen for rage.

Two dead and 15 wounded, by the hands of their fellow Starfleet officers. And who knew how many more would suffer before they got Voyager's generator going again.

As for Ransom and Burke, they could rot in the Brig for the rest of the trip home for all she cared.

 **TO BE CONTINUED**


	5. Chapter 5

_**Author's note:** My apologies for the delay in posting. Life happened. :-)_

* * *

 **Chapter 5**

 _Captain's log, stardate 53007.9_

 _It took us six hours to bring the new multiphasic shielding online, but we are finally in pursuit of the Equinox again. We haven't detected any nucleogenic particles in their warp trail, which means they haven't activated their enhanced warp drive yet. The Equinox informers indicated they need deuterium to convert the alien compound into its crystalline form, and we've identified a planet in their path that is a likely source of the ore. It has a parthogenic atmosphere ideal for masking a ship, and I'm hopeful that with our superior speed we will be able to catch them unawares._

 _We've been unable to make sense of any of the alien sounds using our translation matrices. We can only hope that once the Equinox crew is in custody and their experiments cease, perhaps the aliens will eventually break off their attacks._

* * *

Voyager drifted serenely above the fourth planet in the system. On the viewscreen, white clouds drifted over the green and blue globe. It looked strikingly like Earth, so much so that the Bridge crew could not resist long looks at the viewscreen as they worked.

There wasn't much to do at the moment. All nonessential systems had been shut down to decrease Voyager's power output, and the hull had been polarized to hide their presence from the Equinox, assuming they had guessed correctly at their sister-ship's destination. They were watching sensors for signs of the Equinox, but Janeway knew that if Ransom had taken the same precautions they had, they wouldn't be able to detect the other ship unless they made visual contact.

"Captain," Lieutenant Kim said, breaking the silence. "I've got something."

"The Equinox?"

"No, ma'am. Humanoid lifeforms, on the surface. Four of them."

"Can you identify?"

"Not through a pathogenic atmosphere, not at this distance."

Janeway considered a moment. "Tom, take us into the upper thermosphere. Nice and easy on the thrusters. Let's not telegraph our presence. Harry, let me know the moment you can get an ID."

Paris eased Voyager a little lower, and the ship began to rumble as she rode through the atmospheric tides. Janeway held onto a railing for support and resisted the urge to go watch over Kim's shoulder as he worked. There was nothing she had hated more as a junior officer, but now she understood the temptation for a commanding officer.

"I've got it," Kim said triumphantly a few minutes later. "Three human, one Bolian. It's the Equinox crew, all right."

"Good work, Harry. Can we get a transporter lock?"

"Yes, ma'am."

Chakotay stood up. "If we beam them aboard, it will tip off the Equinox to our arrival."

"They can't be far," Janeway said. "If we take their Away Team, they'll come to us. Then we can disable the Equinox and end this before they kill another lifeform. Tuvok, send a security team to the Transporter Room to meet our guests." She hit her combadge. "Janeway to Transporter Room 1. Four to beam up as soon as security arrives."

There was a short wait, and then Kim announced, "We've got them."

Tuvok was listening to an update from his team. "Transporter Room is secured," he reported a few moments later. "We have Commander Burke and crewmen Noah Lessing, John Bowler and Arnod Brayt. They are being taken to the Brig."

"Good work," Janeway said. "Now, everyone look sharp for the Equinox."

They didn't have long to wait. After only a few minutes of watching external video feeds, Tuvok suddenly spoke up.

"Captain, the Equinox is underneath us," he said. "They have powered weapons."

"Evasive maneuvers!"

Paris responded instantly, angling Voyager's nose down toward the planet to present a smaller profile and keep the nacelles well out of the line of fire. As he did so, the view on their screen shifted and the Equinox came into view, coasting through the atmosphere beneath them, standing out against the blue of the ocean beneath. Her phaser banks were lit up.

"Divert power to forward shields!" Janeway shouted.

Phaser beams lanced out from the Equinox and glanced off Voyager's bow.

"Minor damage. Shields down to 92 percent," Tuvok said.

"Return fire! Phasers only. Target their weapons."

Voyager sliced down through the planet's atmosphere, and Paris angled her to starboard just as they passed the Equinox, giving Tuvok a clean shot with their forward banks. Orange fire stabbed through the atmosphere and struck the Equinox as they sailed past.

"Direct hit," Tuvok said. "Their phasers are disabled."

"Come about," Janeway told Paris. Voyager rumbled ominously as she fought with turbulence, and superheated air flowed over the hull, but Paris' movements were sure as Voyager began to turn gracefully. "Tuvok, are they powering torpedo launchers?"

"Not yet," Tuvok said.

"Hail them."

"They're responding," Kim said.

"Onscreen."

Captain Ransom's image appeared on the screen. His face was intent, eyes narrowed down to slits. Behind him, a console was billowing smoke.

"Stand down, Captain," Janeway said. "Before someone on our ships gets hurt."

"I have a better idea," Ransom said. "Give me my people back, and I'll give you yours. I'm sure your drone would be very useful to me, but I'm willing to give her up in return for my men."

"You know I can't do that," Janeway said. "You and your entire crew are under arrest for violation of the Prime Directive. Lower your shields and prepare to be beamed aboard."

Ransom slammed his fist down on the armrest of his chair. "You don't have the right!" he burst out.

"If we were back home, every single one of you would be court-martialed and you know it!" Janeway said. "Now stand down, Captain. I don't want to damage your ship anymore than it already is."

"If you fire on me again, I'll fire on you. You're giving me no choice!"

Janeway looked over her shoulder. "Tuvok, target their shield generator." She looked back at Ransom. "Last chance, Captain. Surrender."

Ransom's face clenched into a grimace. "Initiate!" he shouted at someone off-screen. An instant later, the comline cut out and Ransom's image was replaced by the sight of the Equinox facing them.

"Tuvok, fire!" Janeway shouted. But even as she spoke, multiple beams of light shot out from the Equinox's deflector dish and immediately the atmosphere between the ships ignited into a blossoming orange fireball.

"Full power to shields!" Janeway shouted as the deck bucked and dipped beneath her. "Report!"

"Captain, the ionized dust particles in the atmosphere are converting to plasma!" Kim shouted. "It's creating a feedback loop in our deflector dish! It's starting to overload!"

"Power it down and back up, quick as you can, Harry!"

Kim frantically worked at his controls. "Too late!" he cried in frustration. "Our field generator just went offline!"

Through the dissipating fireball Janeway could see the Equinox powering thrusters and beginning to ascend through the atmosphere.

"Mr. Paris, pursuit course!" Janeway shouted. Already they could hear the eerie high-pitched noise that preceded an alien attack.

"All hands, draw phasers and prepare for fissures opening!" Chakotay announced over the intercom.

"Tuvok, what's the status of our regular shields?" Janeway said.

"Attempting to bring them online now," Tuvok said, "but the deflector overload drained most of our power. They won't hold for long."

Janeway stood behind the helm, phaser out, ready to cover Paris if a fissure opened. On the viewscreen, the Equinox was already out of the gravity well and gaining speed. "Come on, come on," she heard Paris muttering as he pushed thrusters to their maximum setting and Voyager struggled to follow.

"Fissures opening on decks 2, 5, 8 and 11," Kim warned.

"They're powering warp engines," Paris said.

"Are we in torpedo range?" Janeway demanded.

"Negative," Tuvok said.

Janeway could do nothing but watch helplessly as the Equinox stretched thin and popped out of sight in a brilliant flash of light.

"Match their course and speed," Janeway said.

"I can't," Paris said as his console beeped angrily at him. "Warp engines are down. With that fissure in Engineering, we may have lost-"

"Fissure opening on Deck 1!" Kim interrupted. Everyone crouched down and nervously searched the air above them, but nothing appeared. Then they heard a frantic thudding coming from the direction of the Ready Room, followed by the sound of breaking glass and electrical sparking on the other side of the bulkhead.

"Shields are up!" Tuvok suddenly announced.

The thumping in the Ready Room abruptly ceased, and the silence that followed was as startling as a thunderclap. Gradually everyone relaxed and holstered their phasers, and turned back to their consoles.

"Shields are at 13 percent and falling," Tuvok said.

Janeway brushed her hair back from her face and contacted Engineering. "What's your status, B'Elanna?"

"We had six fissures open up in here." Torres' voice sounded frazzled. "A lot of minor systems were damaged, but the worst was to the dilithium crystal assembly. We're not going anywhere until that's cleaned up."

Janeway repressed a sigh. "What about the field generator?"

"The device itself is salvageable, but all the EPS conduits between it and Deflector Control were fried in the overload."

"Repair estimate?"

"An hour at least for the generator, and another two for warp engines."

"Understood. Make the generator your priority."

She cut the comline. Chakotay was talking to Paris at the helm. "Any nucleogenic particles in their warp trail?" he was asking.

"No sir," Paris said. "They're moving at warp 8."

"The big question is, were they able to mine enough deuterium before we interrupted their Away Team?" Chakotay said, glancing at Janeway. "If so, it's only a matter of time before they create more of that crystalline compound."

Janeway joined them at the helm. "And then we'll never catch up to them," she said grimly.

She closed her eyes briefly. If she let the Equinox slip through her fingers, heaven only knew how many more aliens they would kill before they made it back to the Alpha Quadrant. And they had Seven with them... With a pang, she thought of how long it had taken Seven to grow comfortable on board Voyager. She had finally started to make some friends and find her place among the crew. Janeway could only imagine how Seven would react to being forced to join a new crew full of unfamiliar faces, and she could not help but wonder how Ransom would fare at trying to get her to obey his orders. Janeway thought she had finally begun to wring some modicum of respect and loyalty from Seven, and if Ransom thought he could do better, well, she wished him the best of luck with that. He'd need it.

"Captain," Kim said, his voice cutting across the quiet chatter of the Bridge crew at work at their stations. "Casualty reports coming in from Sickbay. Nine wounded, one of them critically."

Janeway's hands clenched into fists at her sides, her fingernails cutting into her palms. _Ransom._ How naive she had been, to assume that just because he was a Starfleet captain, he could be trusted. She should have watched him more carefully from the start. Instead she had been living in some fantasy world where the two crews would travel together as one big happy family. Nine more wounded... And if any of them died, well, she was beginning to think the Brig was too good for Ransom.

Which reminded her...

"At least we didn't come away empty-handed," Janeway said. "Chakotay, if you would care to accompany me, I have a few questions for Commander Burke."

* * *

"Give me your command codes to the Equinox."

In Cargo Bay 1, Maxwell Burke looked up at Janeway from where he sat in a straight-backed chair, his hands cuffed behind him. He glanced briefly at Chakotay and then back to her, a contemptuous smile just curving his lips.

"No," he said.

"That's an order, Mr. Burke."

Burke scoffed. "You're not my captain."

"I've removed Captain Ransom from command," she countered. "You answer to me now."

"That's funny. I don't see a stripe on your sleeve. I'm pretty sure you don't have the authority to do that."

"Starfleet regulation 3, paragraph 12," Janeway said. "In the event of imminent destruction, a captain is authorized to preserve the lives of her crew by any justifiable means. Given that there are no Starfleet admirals in this quadrant, it's left to me to stop your captain's reckless slaughter, which has endangered us all."

"You see?" Burke said apropos of nothing, looking at Chakotay. "If _she'd_ been my captain, everyone on the Equinox would have starved to death months ago. Too bloody soft to make the hard decisions. What you call reckless slaughter, Kathryn, we call saving lives."

"I'm not interested in a philosophical discussion, Mr. Burke." She leaned over him, placing her hands on both his shoulders, eyes like steel. "Tell me the command codes to the Equinox."

Burke laughed in her face. "Or what? You'll hit me?"

"I don't need to hit you, Mr. Burke. You see, our shields are almost depleted, and any moment now those fissures are going to start opening up all over the ship. The only thing between you and death-" she pulled out her phaser and brandished it, "-is this. I don't have to use it. So if I were you, I'd start talking."

"Please," Burke said. "If you're so tenderhearted over a bunch of aliens, you're not going to stand back and let a human be killed."

"Try me. I feel no particular compulsion to rescue a murderer from his just desserts."

Burke rolled his eyes and spoke again to Chakotay. "Let me guess, now you're going to come to my rescue. You know, Kathryn, if you're going to do the good cop, bad cop routine, you really should have him be the bad guy. You're not very convincing."

But Janeway had gone very cold and still. "You don't know me very well, Mr. Burke," she said.

The red alert blared. Tuvok's voice came over the comlines, warning everyone to arm themselves. Chakotay drew his phaser and scanned the room expectantly. But Janeway just turned and walked out of the room, pulling Chakotay out by the arm as she went.

"Call out if you change your mind, Mr. Burke," she tossed over her shoulder.

"What...?" Chakotay said as she pulled him out the door. Already the high-pitched whine was sounding, and behind them, Burke actually looked slightly alarmed as the door swished shut on him and he was left alone.

Janeway marched over to the nearest screen and activated the video feed into the Cargo Bay, where she could see Burke looking around nervously and then getting to his feet.

Chakotay came over to join her. "What are you doing?" he asked.

"Weren't you listening? I'm getting the command codes so we can shut down the Equinox's shields remotely and beam everyone aboard."

On the screen, they could see Burke getting down on the floor and working his cuffed hands under his legs until he had his hands in front of him.

Chakotay was bewildered. "Remind me again why we need the Equinox in one piece this badly," he said.

"Commander, we've been through this. I'm not going to explain myself again."

"Fine, but he's not going to give the codes to you. He's calling your bluff." He looked at the screen again, where Burke was kicking storage barrels to tip them over, and then back at Janeway. Her face was set. A look of uncertainty crossed his face, and he added, "You were bluffing, weren't you?"

Janeway bit the inside of her cheek. "I haven't decided yet."

Burke was now hastily shoving barrels and crates together into a jumbled pile, his movements clumsy due to having his hands cuffed in front of him. The high-pitched whining grew louder.

Chakotay was getting nervous. "Are you going to go in there and get him or what?" he said, his voice rising.

"I'm waiting for him to talk. I need the command codes."

On the screen they saw a blue fissure blossom in mid-air inside the Cargo Bay. Emitting a startled curse, Burke crawled awkwardly into his makeshift shelter.

Now Chakotay was looking at her in dawning horror. "Order me to go in there and get him," he demanded.

Suddenly her cold calm was starting to melt. She didn't like the way Chakotay was looking at her. Was she doing the right thing? A minute ago this had seemed a reasonable decision. A calculated risk, yes, but an acceptable one. But Chakotay was almost panicking.

"Kathryn, this is not a difficult decision!" he burst out.

She hesitated, hands going up to clutch her head. But the codes...

"Kathryn! Order me to go-"

"Yes, fine, go!" she shouted out finally.

Without a word, Chakotay charged back into Cargo Bay 1 with Janeway at his heels and aimed his phaser at the fissure, but it was too late, an alien had already emerged. It smashed into the pile of crates protecting Burke, then shrieked and dived at Chakotay. He hit the deck and rolled out of the way just as the alien crashed down, spreading a swath of thermal damage across the deck plate. As it rebounded back into the air, Chakotay tried to shoot it but missed as it erratically dipped and dived around the Cargo Bay like a caged bird.

Janeway ran to meet Chakotay in the center of the room as he scrambled to his feet and they stood back to back with phasers ready to fire, but the alien flitted around so quickly they couldn't get a clear shot.

"Just keep away from it!" Burke hollered from his hiding place. "It's going to suffocate any second now!"

The words were hardly out of his mouth when another fissure opened, and with a hoarse screech the alien dived inside it. Janeway fired her phaser, and the fissure closed with a snap. Chakotay ducked into Burke's shelter, grabbed him by the arm and dragged him out. Janeway kept them both covered as they ran back out to the corridor, and then she followed them out.

Burke was visibly shaken as he slumped against the wall fighting for breath, his dark hair dampened and the sweat running in rivulets down his forehead. Chakotay held him firmly by the arm and looked at Janeway in disbelief.

"What is going _on_?" he said.

She ignored this and hit her combadge. "Janeway to Bridge, report!"

"We are attempting to recharge the deflector array," Tuvok said over the comline. "Stand by." The line cut out.

"Stop looking at me like that," she snapped at Chakotay. "You used the same tactic."

" _What?_ When?"

"To Gul Evek's men. On Athos 4, in the Badlands."

Chakotay stared at her in disbelief. "You're casting that up to me _now_?"

A high-pitched whine sounded, and they both lifted their phasers ready to fire, but after a moment the sound passed.

"I'd like to return to the Brig now," Burke said loudly. They both ignored him.

"So is this a Maquis ship now?" Chakotay demanded. "Because I seem to remember you were very insistent that we should be Starfleet."

"I really don't think this is the best time for this conversation," she said.

"I agree," Burke broke in. "Finish the fight on your own bloody time."

"Stay out of it," Chakotay said, giving him a shake, at the same instant Janeway snapped, "Hold your tongue, Mr. Burke."

The alien sound grew loud again, and their phasers went up as they searched the corridor for fissures.

"Behind you!" Chakotay said, and Janeway threw herself out of the way as he fired at the forming fissure. But the beam had only been activated a few seconds when Burke suddenly lashed out with his foot, striking Chakotay on the inside of his thigh. He went down like a sack of potatoes and dropped the phaser. Burke dove for it.

Torn between intervening in the fight and closing the fissure, Janeway settled on firing on the fissure. Behind her, she could hear Chakotay and Burke struggling on the deck.

At last she had the fissure sealed, and she turned to see Chakotay had Burke trapped in a headlock, the phaser inches from Burke's grasping hand. Quickly she kicked it out of reach and hit her combadge.

"Janeway to Security, I need a team in Section 29 Alpha!"

Moments later they heard feet pounding in the distance, and soon Ayala and Jarvis rounded the bend and dragged Burke to his feet at the point of their phaser rifles. Burke was red-faced, furious at his lost opportunity.

"Lady, my _cat_ could run a starship better than you," he spat at Janeway.

"Shut up!" Ayala said, shaking Burke by the collar. "Go tell that to your own captain!"

"Enough!" Chakotay said, panting for breath. "Take him to the Brig."

"Yes, sir."

Janeway and Chakotay were left alone in the suddenly quiet corridor. Janeway folded her arms and stared at the bulkhead as though it were the most fascinating thing she'd ever seen.

"Well, that went well," Chakotay said.

"Bridge to Janeway."

She roused herself with an effort. "Janeway here."

"Captain, we have successfully charged the shields up to 15 percent," came Tuvok's voice. She realized that she indeed could no longer hear the alien noise in the distance.

"Good work, Tuvok," she said, sighing. "I'm coming up to the Bridge."

She turned toward the turbolift, but Chakotay didn't follow her, instead turning to head the other way.

"Where are you going?" she asked, pausing.

"To question the others," he said. He didn't add the words "the right way," but he might as well have.

She let him go.

 **TO BE CONTINUED**

* * *

 _ **Author's note:** I would love to read your thoughts on the story so far!_


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter 6**

Janeway paced across the Bridge restlessly. At Tactical, Tuvok and Ayala were discussing phaser modifications that might cut through the Equinox's shields. Janeway listened idly for a moment, then rubbed her neck and paced to the other end of the Bridge. Kim was standing alone at Ops, studying sensor logs. Janeway stared at him for a while, noticing the crease of intense concentration in his forehead, but then Kim sensed her eyes on him and looked up questioningly. Janeway quickly turned away and resumed her pacing. Finally, after several trips back and forth, she tired of that and sat down in the captain's chair. Activating her own pop-up display, she scrolled through the information from their dip into the planet's atmosphere, but she hardly saw it. She was distracted by a growing sense of irritation, mostly directed at Chakotay.

What on earth gave him the right to lecture her about morality? After all these years, he could't even trust her to handle a simple interrogation? He didn't trust her to make the right decision for the crew? Suddenly it felt as though his loyalty to her, which she had for so long relied on and taken for granted, was no longer as secure as she thought. The idea filled her with the horrible sensation of powerlessness. If she didn't have Chakotay's support, what _did_ she have? So often he had brought the rest of the crew around to her way of thinking when she had to make a difficult decision. So many times he had made sure they understood her reasoning, given her the benefit of the doubt, respected her authority. He'd been especially helpful keeping the former Maquis crewmembers in line, but not only them. Chakotay was wonderful, too, with diplomatically controlling Seven's wild fluctuations in asserting her independence, with keeping Neelix's sometimes overexuberance in check, with reassuring people like Tal Celeste and Billy Telfer who needed extra confidence and guidance.

Why did he have to be so stubborn and contrary now, when she needed him the most?

Annoyed, Janeway scrolled through screens blindly and wondered how he was handling the questioning of the other Equinox prisoners now, and she thought she should be down there too, to make sure he was getting somewhere with it, but she just didn't trust herself not to interfere. Forcing herself to drop this useless line of thought, she stopped on a screen and made herself read it. After a few minutes, she saw something that made her stand decisively and step down to the helm station. Paris sat with his back to her, tapping controls as he spoke through his combadge.

"I'm not getting any readings at all from the impulse drive," he was saying. "There must be a short somewhere between decks 1 and 5. Do you have anyone to spare to go check it out?"

"Vorik is almost done purging the dilithium chamber," B'Elanna said over the comm. "I'll send him up and have him contact you directly if he finds the problem. What about thruster readings, are you able to monitor those?"

"Mr. Paris," Janeway said.

Paris turned, glanced at her, and then quickly said, "Oh, B'Eh, I'll call you right back, okay? Just a second." He tapped his combadge and turned to face Janeway. "Yes, Captain?"

"When you brought Voyager back up through the atmosphere just now, you ascended at a 65 degree vector at full thrusters."

Paris waited for her to say something more, and when she didn't, he said, "Yes?"

"Why?"

"Well, we were in a rush to catch the Equinox, and that was the optimal angle to take us back to open space." Paris looked at her, puzzled, unsure where this was leading.

"Regulation 21, paragraph 3. When accelerating at full thrusters through an atmosphere of this type, recommended rate of ascent is 60 degrees or less."

Paris' expression cleared. "Oh. Yes. Well, Captain, I understand your concern, but Starfleet created that reg before our bioneural circuitry was developed. Helm controls are so much more responsive now, it's easy to compensate for jetstream fluctuations, even at a 65 degree angle."

"So you took it upon yourself to ignore the regulation," Janeway said flatly.

"Well, it is a _recommendation_ -" Paris began, but Janeway cut him off.

"You know, Mr. Paris, I have to say, I thought we were past this sort of thing from you."

Behind them, the Bridge grew suddenly quiet. Paris opened his mouth, then closed it again.

"I consider it irresponsible to risk the integrity of the ship and the safety of the crew just to shave a few seconds off an ascent," Janeway said, "and I find it astonishing that you would do so, Mr. Paris, without a request or a word of explanation to your commanding officer."

Paris was silent a moment. Then, carefully, he said, "I'm sorry, Captain. It's just that I've used this maneuver before, and I thought you were already aware of it."

Janeway's voice went sharp. "You've done this before? When?"

"Yes ma'am, a couple times, um, once against the Benthan, two years ago, and once or twice since then. I think I put it in my reports-"

"Do you mean to tell me you've been circumventing regulations for _years_? I've never seen anything about this in a report. _What?_ "

Paris looked startled, until he realized that last irritated question was actually directed at Chakotay, who had come up behind them while they were talking.

"We need to talk, Captain," he said.

"I'm busy." Janeway turned back toward Paris.

"Yes, I can see that. I'll wait."

Janeway waited a moment, but Chakotay didn't go away. She shot him a glare and said, "Do you mind?"

"Not at all," Chakotay said. "I'm in the mood to hear a good lecture."

Paris leaned back in his chair, his eyes flicking warily back and forth between Captain and First Officer.

Janeway pressed her lips together and huffed, but after a moment, she merely told Paris, "Don't let it happen again."

"Aye Captain," Paris said meekly.

"In my Ready Room," she told Chakotay as she turned away.

"No," Chakotay said. "Turbolift."

It didn't seem worth arguing over. Already Janeway could see the Bridge crew rapidly trying to act like they were studying their consoles as she and Chakotay walked back to the turbolift. Wonderful. Now they'd be dealing with rumor control on top of everything else.

"Deck 3," Chakotay said as soon as the doors swished shut behind them.

Janeway crossed her arms. "Did you get the security codes from one of the others?"

"I got something useful," Chakotay said. "We'll talk about it."

"We are talking."

"Not here."

The turbolift doors swished open and Chakotay began walking briskly. Janeway had to hurry to keep up with him, but he stopped at the first door they saw. Janeway's quarters. He gestured at her to open the door.

"My quarters are a mess," Janeway said.

"Your quarters are never a mess," Chakotay said.

"Well, they are. I'm stressed out."

Chakotay sighed, took her by the elbow, and led her to the next door down, where he typed in his own code and gestured for her to go in first.

Once inside, Janeway paused and looked around. "My quarters were cleaner than this," she said.

Chakotay looked aggravated. "Fine. We'll go back there."

"No, not at all. This is as good a place for you to shout at me as any."

"I'm not going to shout!" Chakotay quickly modulated his tone. "I'm not going to shout. Just sit down. Please."

He shoved aside the PADDS and the boxing gloves and the rumpled blanket strewn across the couch, and they sat down.

"Well? Let's hear it."

"Let's just calm down and breathe for a minute," Chakotay said. "Do you want some coffee or something?"

"Coffee's the last thing on Earth I need right now. I'm about to jump out of my skin."

They sat there not speaking as several minutes ticked by. After a while Janeway was forced to admit to herself that she could practically feel her blood pressure dropping. Chakotay had been smart not to let her into the Ready Room, where she probably would have unleashed all her rage on him the instant the door shut. He was getting awfully good at figuring out how to avoid pushing her buttons. One of these days he was going to be able to write the book on the care and feeding of Captain Janeway.

Chakotay reached up and took off his combadge and laid it on the table. A moment later, his rank bar followed. Janeway stared at him. "Quitting?" she asked.

"Of course not. Here." He reached out for her collar, but she pulled away.

"Stop that," she said.

"Would you trust me, please?"

Grudgingly, she submitted to having her pips and combadge removed and placed on the coffee table by his.

"There," he said. "No more Commander, no more Captain. Just Chakotay and Kathryn, shields down and weapons offline."

Against her will she felt herself smiling ever so slightly. "Is this something you do with all your commanding officers?"

"Just the ones I really like. Now. What is going on?"

"You're going to have to be more specific."

"What happened with Burke?"

"I questioned him. What else would you like to know?"

"I'd really like to know what was going on in your head at that moment. I've never seen you like that before."

"I'm sorry I disappointed you." She had meant that to sound sarcastic, but somehow it didn't come out that way at all.

Chakotay was looking at her a little too knowingly. "Kathryn, did you know Burke before this? Back in the Alpha Quadrant?"

She quirked her eyebrows in confusion. "No."

"But Ransom. You knew _him_ before."

"No. I told you that. I've never met any of them before now. What difference does that make?"

"I don't know, you tell me. You got so angry. It wasn't like you. It makes me think there's something you're not telling me."

"And you're _not_ angry? They're Starfleet officers. They've betrayed everything this uniform stands for, and they put my ship and my people at risk..."

"I know that," Chakotay interrupted before she could get going again. "I'm angry, you're angry, everyone's angry. We have a right to be. But it's like you're taking all of this personally. And it isn't personal."

"Tell that to all the patients in Sickbay, not to mention the two crewmembers now lying in the morgue."

Chakotay pinched the bridge of his nose. "Okay. Fine. Let's try this. Why the obsession with getting the Equinox back in one piece? It really isn't necessary. It would be nice, I know, but we've come this far with one ship. Why do we need two?"

She really didn't want to answer that, and yet she couldn't explain to him why she couldn't, and the silence grew awkward. Finally Janeway stood up and paced away from the couch.

"Let's move on to the relevant discussion, the part where you tell me what you found out from the other Equinox crewmembers," she said.

Chakotay got up from the couch too, and moved around to make her face him. "I'm getting there, but I need you to answer my question first."

She felt the beginnings of panic fluttering somewhere in her stomach. "Why?"

"Because I'm going to make a recommendation to you, and I'm worried you'll brush it off, because I still don't understand what it is you're trying to accomplish. Surely you're not going to let Burke or Ransom have command of the Equinox, and no one else on their crew has much command experience. Just who were you planning to put in charge over there?"

"Well..." she said slowly. "I was thinking... you."

Chakotay was genuinely taken back. "Me?"

"Yes, you. You used to have your own ship. Wouldn't you like to again?"

He mulled it over for a while. "I hadn't really thought about it," he said at last. "I didn't take the Val Jean for ambition's sake. I was only thinking about fighting Cardassians. What would I do with a ship out here, except to follow you?"

She gave him a crooked smile. "That was the general idea."

"You were really doing all this for me? I don't need a ship, Kathryn. What made you think I did?"

"I guess... I was just thinking..." She wished he would not look at her so intently. Her heart was pounding so loud she thought he must be able to hear it.

"This is difficult to say," she said, trying not to stumble over the words. "I suppose I was thinking that... if you wanted to... we would be free to... you know..."

He clearly didn't know, because he still looked confused.

"...be together," she managed to choke out finally. "If you wanted to."

Chakotay went very still. He just looked at her, and the silence seemed to stretch into infinity.

"Say something," she whispered.

Chakotay seemed to be trying to pull his wits about him. "I think we need to have these pipless conversations more often," he said at last, looking bewildered. "I thought... that I cared more than you did."

"I think that was true," she said slowly. "For a while. But I guess... you wore me down." And she could not stop a brilliant smile from spreading across her face.

"Kathryn." Suddenly Chakotay sounded almost fierce. He grabbed her by her shoulders and gripped her tightly. "Do you love me? Yes or no."

A rush of emotion flooded her body so powerfully that it was hard to breathe properly. "I've been fighting... for so long," she managed to gasp out. "I don't want... to fight anymore."

"Is that a yes?" Chakotay demanded. "That was a yes, wasn't it?"

She felt as exhilarated as a child. "Yes, that was a yes."

"Ridiculous woman!" Chakotay shook her slightly. He looked both annoyed and amused. "Do you have any idea how long I've been breaking my heart over you? I'd just about given up all hope."

She gave him a half-smile. "Call me ridiculous again. I like that."

"You _are_ ridiculous. I knew you were holding things back from me, but I didn't think..." He shook his head helplessly. "You have an impressive poker face, I'll give you that."

"Really? You didn't guess?" After holding her silence for so long, suddenly Janeway felt herself wanting to talk and talk and talk. "I was afraid it was obvious to everyone. How much of my off-duty time do I spend with you? Even when I have dinner without you, I can't sleep until I've found an excuse to call you before bed. Haven't you noticed how different it's been lately?"

"I thought it was wishful thinking. Why didn't you say something?"

"What was there to say? There was nothing we could have done about it. Until now."

Carefully, hesitantly, he reached out and touched her hair, gently tucking a strand back behind her ear, letting his fingertips slide down her hair and back up to do it again.

"So beautiful," he whispered, and his hand rested on the side of her face, his thumb softly stroking her cheek. "Do you have any idea...?"

She could tell by the way he was looking at her that he was going to kiss her. And she knew about half a second later that she was going to let him.

She lifted up her face to him, and slowly he leaned forward and pressed his lips against hers. He made it very gentle and sweet, pulling her in close against him with an arm slid around her waist. It felt so good to be held. Unbelievably good. She relaxed into his embrace and let her hand go up to the back of his neck to deepen the kiss.

When they finally pulled apart, they were both a little breathless.

"Well," she said when she had recovered some of her senses. "That went well."

"I might have... been planning that... for a long time," Chakotay said with a smile.

"Seems to have gone off without a hitch."

He was still holding her around the waist. "Where were we?"

"I think you were about to tell me what you learned from the prisoners."

"Oh, yes."

She lifted an eyebrow at him. "Should I put my pips back on for this?"

"Not just yet. This is pretty comfortable."

"All right. Let's hear it."

"Okay. I talked to the Bolian, Arnod Brayt, and asked him to tell me as much as possible about their research on the aliens," Chakotay said. "I wanted to know anything that might give us a clue about what they are, where they come from, so that maybe we can figure out how to talk to them."

"And?"

"And I think I might have gotten something useful. He told me what they discovered when they dissected a specimen. There were traces of an organic compound on the skin and in the gills: a liquid ester, to be precise. They thought maybe that was the substance the creatures normally swim in, back in their own realm, since we know our air is poisonous to them. Brayt remembers the formula for it. By that time the Equinox crew had already begun harvesting the bodies for energy, so they didn't do anything with the discovery, but if we can replicate that ester, maybe we can make a chamber that could safely hold one of the aliens without harming it."

It was hard to concentrate on what Chakotay was saying because his hand was rubbing small circles against her back and the contact was driving her to distraction, but Janeway thought she had followed his explanation well enough.

"So far, so good," she said. "But we still can't talk to them."

"I've had a thought on that too. Brayt told me that when the Ankari first showed them these spirits of good fortune, they said their ancestors had been summoning the spirits for millennia, since before they had technology. Apparently they called the aliens telepathically. They only invented the summoning devices later to make the process easier."

"The aliens are telepaths? But the noises they made..."

"Their cries might not have any more meaning than an animal's vocalizations. It would explain why our universal translator couldn't make any sense of it."

Janeway thought about that for a moment. "If only the Ankari weren't 20,000 lightyears in the wrong direction. They could have translated for us."

"We do have telepaths on board."

"Tuvok and Vorik are touch telepaths," she reminded him. "How are they supposed to mind meld with something that kills with a touch?"

"You're forgetting about the ester," Chakotay said. "It's an extremely effective thermal insulator. It would have to be... otherwise, the aliens wouldn't even be able to touch each other without harming each other."

"That would be tragic," she agreed, sliding her palms up his chest.

"Very tragic. So what do you think? Should we try to build a chamber?"

"And ask them to pretty please stop attacking us? It's not a bad plan. In fact, it might be one of your better ones." Her smile faltered a little. "Much better than going after Burke. I guess I shouldn't have..." She corrected herself instantly. "I know I shouldn't have done that. I wasn't thinking straight."

Chakotay leaned forward to gently press his forehead against hers. "No more going it alone. No more secrets. We work better together than we do apart. Promise?"

"Promise."

 **TO BE CONTINUED**

* * *

 _ **Author's note:** Thank you for your wonderful reviews! Keep 'em coming!_


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter 7**

Tuvok and Janeway walked into Cargo Bay 1 to find Harry Kim, his team and the Doctor standing around the completed containment chamber in the center of the room. It was cylindrical, about chest-high and a meter and a half in diameter, and filled with a clear fluid. A distinctive sweet odor hung in the air around the chamber. A control panel mounted on the side of it was showing a temperature of a cool 5 degrees Celsius.

"Well, Lieutenant Kim?" Janeway said. "What have we here?"

"We're all ready to go, Captain," Kim reported. "The tank is filled with ethyl ethanoate. We matched the formula to the substance Brayt told us they found in the aliens' gills. We've got the field generators in here reprogrammed so that once a fissure opens in here and an alien emerges, forcefields will activate around it and immediately begin to narrow in, funneling the alien down into the tank. Once it's in there..." Kim took a modified tricorder from the hands of Samantha Wildman and pressed a button, so that the top of the tank dilated shut. "...we can contain it. Commander Chakotay said Brayt told him we'd have about 45 seconds before the alien suffocates in our air. We should be able to complete the process in plenty of time to keep it healthy."

"Excellent work, Mr. Kim," Janeway said, stepping around to admire the tank. "And how will Commander Tuvok make contact?"

"Right here," Kim said, and he pressed another button on the tricorder. A much smaller opening dilated on the side of the tank, near the top, and Kim rolled up his sleeve and demonstrated putting his arm inside it, so that his hand plunged in the ester below.

"Are we certain the fluid will provide adequate insulation against the alien's nucleogenic properties?" Tuvok asked.

Kim opened his mouth to answer, but the Doctor stepped up and said, "Yes, commander, I've performed several tests using biocylinders, and-" The Doctor stopped and shot a glare at Kim, who was still standing there and was now shaking the fluid off his arm.

"Out of the way, lieutenant!" the Doctor snapped. "You're getting fluid on my back!"

"Your back is a simulation, Doc," Kim said, with a touch of annoyance in his voice.

"Yes, but it's the only one I've got! Oh, but no one bothers to take into account my feelings, after all, I'm just a hologram, why bother?"

"The biocylinders, Doctor?" Janeway prompted him before he could get going.

"Yes, Captain, as I was saying before I was so rudely interrupted, the tests with the biocylinders indicated it will be safe for a Vulcan to come into contact with the alien while immersed in the fluid, although things may become uncomfortably warm as the alien's body heat causes temperatures to rise inside the tank. And may I remind you all that ethyl ethanoate is a solvent, albeit a mild one, and prolonged exposure may cause irritation to the skin."

"That's why we'll have you standing by, Doctor, to monitor Tuvok during the mind meld."

"And that's another thing," the Doctor continued loudly. "This entire procedure is a risky one. We know nothing about this lifeform's telepathic abilities, and whether they may be compatible with a Vulcan's. As it is, the brain of a Vulcan is a puzzle, wrapped inside an enigma, housed inside a cranium, and putting it into contact with an unknown species is a piece of recklessness I must advise against. What's more-"

"Doctor, we have heard this lecture before," Tuvok said. "We must communicate with the aliens. I have experience performing mind melds and I am willing to accept the risk."

"Of course," the Doctor said with a hint of bitterness. "I'm only a doctor; what do I know? It's your body; who am I to judge?" He stalked off and began checking over the contents of the medkit resting on one of the storage crates, banging the hyposprays down with more force than necessary. The crewmen near him glanced over and then edged away from him ever so slightly.

Kim shook his head wearily. "He's been like that all morning," he told Janeway and Tuvok. "He must be having the mother of all bad days. I haven't seen him this cranky since he was first activated."

Janeway waved that off, her mind already moving ahead to the procedure they were about to initiate. "When we begin, Mr. Kim," she said, "I want you to keep your finger on that control to open the lid back up. If we've made any miscalculation and the alien begins to suffer, I want to be able to let it out as quickly as possible. The last thing we need is another dead body."

"Understood."

"Good. If you're ready to begin, let's clear everyone out of here but the four of us."

Once Kim had hustled his team out of the Cargo Bay, he joined Janeway, Tuvok and the Doctor against the bulkhead, and activated a forcefield around them. Janeway touched her combadge. "Janeway to Bridge. Lower the shields in this section."

"Acknowledged," came Chakotay's voice.

Instantly they heard the high-pitched whine, and within moments a blue fissure blossomed in the air near the tank. Instinctively they all leaned back from it, although they were safe inside the forcefield.

An alien came swooping out, its lips pulled back into a fierce grimace. Glancing at Tuvok's impassive face, Janeway could only hope for his sake that these aliens were much more friendly than they appeared.

It smashed into a forcefield and shrieked wordlessly. Darting back in the other direction, it encountered another forcefield. Swiftly the forcefields pulled in, tighter and tighter, and gradually the alien was forced over the tank and then lower and lower until at last it bounced frantically off a forcefield above it and went splashing down into the tank. Kim hit the controls and the lid dilated shut.

"Got it!" Kim said triumphantly.

Janeway touched her combadge. "Janeway to Bridge. Shields up."

"Aye Captain."

Instantly the fissure vanished and the whine in the air cut off. Janeway shifted her attention back to the tank. The alien was suspended in the fluid, its arms and tail churning the water in sharp, rhythmic motions. It worked its way as far down into the tank as it could, and then with a powerful lunge it shot up to the top and slammed its head into the lid. The lid held. A muffled shriek could be heard, and the alien alternately tried throwing itself against the sides of the tank, but to no avail.

Kim was looking at his tricorder. "I don't know much about its physiology, of course," he said, "but according to the chamber readings, its temperature and internal pressure appear stable, and it's drawing fluid in and out of its gills. I think it's breathing all right."

"Lower the forcefields," Janeway said.

Cautiously they advanced toward the tank. Tuvok rolled up his left sleeve and, with a nod, indicated that Kim should open the small aperture. The Doctor pulled out his medical tricorder and held the scanner near Tuvok as the Vulcan put his arm into the tank and slowly reached out toward the alien.

It didn't try to avoid him, as Janeway had half-expected. Rather, it put up its rounded shoulder and rammed into Tuvok's hand with all its strength.

Tuvok grunted loudly, snatched his hand away and staggered back until he fell on the deck. The alien shrieked and darted around the fluid wildly, causing waves to splash out of the small aperture. Quickly Kim closed it again.

"Tuvok!" Janeway flung herself down next to him, and the Doctor bent over to help her turn the Vulcan over.

With a sick feeling of dread, Janeway steeled herself to see Tuvok's body desiccated and lifeless, but when they turned him over, there was nothing worse than splashes of fluid across his chest.

"I am unharmed," he said, his voice slightly hoarse, and got to his feet without assistance. "I was merely... unprepared for the depth of their emotions."

"You made contact then?" Janeway breathed.

"I believe so, for a fleeting moment. I attempted to impress upon him our peaceful intentions. I am not certain if he understood. He was terrified of us."

The four of them looked back at the alien. Its frantic movements were growing slower and slower. Finally it floated motionless in the center of the tank, looking at them with its beady black eyes. Growing bold, Janeway cautiously approached the tank again and laid the palm of her hand against the side of the tank. Blinking rapidly, the alien studied her, and then he, too, laid a spindly, four-fingered hand against the glass, right where her hand was.

Janeway hardly dared breathe. "Tuvok, let's try that again. It looks like he wants to cooperate."

Kim opened the aperture, and once more Tuvok slipped his arm into the fluid. This time the alien remained still, and permitted Tuvok to lay his hand on its rounded shoulder.

Tuvok could not suppress a gasp as the alien's mind once more met his, but he kept his fingertips pressed firmly against the alien's flesh nevertheless. For a long minute he stood there, locked in an inner struggle, with emotions that were not his own flitting across his face from time to time. Fear, mostly fear. But also naked curiosity.

Finally, Tuvok withdrew his hand from the tank and looked at Janeway, his expression composed once more. "Captain, I have informed the alien that we are explorers who do not wish harm on anyone. He was fascinated by some of the memories he saw in my mind. I asked him to end the attacks on our ship, but he would not reply, nor would he answer my questions about who they are and where they come from. He repeatedly sends me images of us opening the tank and permitting him to leave the ship through a fissure."

Janeway considered carefully. "Yes," she said at last. "Let's do as he asks, as a demonstration of our goodwill."

The four of them lined up against the bulkhead once more, and Kim activated a forcefield to protect them. Janeway touched her combadge. "Janeway to Bridge. Lower the shields in this section again. Our guest is ready to leave."

Moments later a fissure opened in mid-air and, at a nod from Janeway, Kim opened the aperture at the top of the tank. The alien rose up, glanced back at them once more, and disappeared through the fissure with a flick of its tail.

They waited with bated breath, but no other fissures appeared, although the shields remained down. Janeway looked over at Tuvok. "Maybe you did get through to him," she said. "Maybe they're trying to work out what to do with us now. We'll wait."

After updating the Bridge, they waited as patiently as they could. The minutes ticked by slowly. Tuvok stood serenely with his hands folded in a meditative pose, his eyes shut. When almost 20 minutes had passed, at last they heard the eerie sound again, and a new fissure blossomed into existence above the holding chamber. Expectantly they waited for an alien to come swooping out.

But this time the alien that came was unlike any they had seen before. It was almost twice as large as the others, and its skin was rippling shades of peach and green. Its arms were comparatively longer and consequently its webbing much wider and more wing-like. The head was crowned with six delicate antennae-like appendages.

The creature hovered in mid-air, gazing at them with its beady black eyes, before beginning to lower itself into the tank of fluid. It was so large that Janeway feared for a moment this newcomer wouldn't fit inside, but with some judicious wriggling it managed the feat. Then it blinked its eyes and gazed at them expectantly through the walls of the tank.

"Do you want the top closed, Captain?" Kim whispered.

"Negative, and we'll leave that fissure open as well, as a show of trust," she whispered, "but everyone stay alert and be ready to run back here to the forcefield if there's a problem."

They approached the tank, and at a nod from Janeway, Tuvok once more reached inside the fluid and gently put his hand on the creature's rounded shoulder.

Immediately they could see emotions ripple across Tuvok's face. First, anger, then something a little softer and more uncertain, followed by another grimace of anger. Then Tuvok withdrew his dripping hand from the tank and spoke to Janeway, his face abruptly implacable again.

"We are speaking with the queen of the colony," he said. "She wishes to speak to our queen. I explained to her that you could not speak telepathically, Captain, but I am not certain she understood. She was... offended that I continued to attempt to speak with her."

Janeway pressed her lips together. "Well, if she won't speak to you and I can't speak to her..."

"Perhaps," Tuvok said, "I could bring you into the mind-meld, and serve as an intermediate between yourself and the queen."

"You can do that?"

"It is a technique called the bridging of the minds. I have not attempted such a feat before, but I am willing to try."

Janeway stepped up to the tank next to Tuvok, feeling strangely reluctant. She remembered well her last mind-meld with Tuvok, and the feeling of utter exposure it had engendered. And that had been a journey through Tuvok's mind and memories, not hers, at least not intentionally. But privacy didn't have much meaning in a mind-meld, and she was fairly certain he had picked up on any number of her own thoughts in the process.

But it had to be done, and so she would do it.

"I'm afraid this may not be comfortable for you," she murmured for Tuvok's ears only. "I haven't been... in control of my emotions lately."

"Captain, if I can endure her emotions," Tuvok said quietly in his typical Vulcan understatement, glancing at the queen, "I am certain I can handle yours."

Swallowing nervously, Janeway nodded, and Tuvok placed his right hand on the side of her face, searching carefully with his fingertips until he had them in just the right place.

"My mind to your mind," he intoned. "My thoughts to your thoughts..."

And he placed his left hand in the tank and touched the queen.

Instantly Janeway felt a rush of emotion so powerful that she felt her knees grow weak, and she clutched at the side of the tank for balance. Tuvok was swaying, too, but he managed to keep his hand firmly on her face. It was an incredible wave of anger flooding through every inch of her body, like nothing she had experienced before, and Kathryn Janeway knew a thing or two about anger. She stared at the alien through the glass of the tank in a kind of horrified fascination. The queen's teeth were bared and her powerful tail churned the fluid within, creating swirls and eddies.

She felt, too, Tuvok's presence in her mind, and it seemed to her that Tuvok was trying to absorb that rage, trying to break through the psionic wall of emotion until Janeway thought she began to sense some sort of order and meaning in all that telepathic chaos.

And the meaning she thought she understood was this:

 _You are the queen? This is your nest? Your younglings?_

Yes, Janeway thought as clearly as she could. This is my nest.

The rage subsided ever so slightly, and now Janeway picked up on a strain of wary curiosity.

 _You feel so much, and yet you are speechless,_ the queen thought wonderingly. _Then your youngling spoke true. How is it you cannot speak? I feel many things from you._

There came, lightning-fast, a succession of images and sensations, all of them familiar to Janeway: glimpses of her own memories from the last few days. Laughing over tiramisu. Her joy at finding another Starfleet crew. Her fury over Ransom's betrayal. Her fear of the alien attacks.

 _You feel as we do,_ the queen said. _You feel as our friends the Ankari do. But you do not speak as we do._

I speak, Janeway tried to tell her. My kind do not speak mind to mind. We use words.

A new image flashed, as clear and as distant as though Janeway were looking through a telescope: she saw herself, in the Brig, speaking to one of the aliens through the forcefield, telling it she wasn't a threat. But in the queen's mind it was only gibberish.

 _Then your sounds have meaning,_ the queen said curiously. _Never have we dreamed of such a thing. We thought you were as dumb as the animals, knowing only hunger and fear. But you know anger as we do._ An image-flash of Ransom, trying to justify his atrocities, and Burke, shoving Janeway into the Brig. _You know love._ An image-flash of Chakotay touching her cheek. _You know the nest-fury._ An image-flash of Paris, telling her Claudia and Jay were dead.

 _I know the nest-fury, too,_ the queen said. And Janeway felt a renewed surge of anger and grief, and a multitude of telescope-images flashed into her mind: the terrified fluttering of an alien trapped inside forcefields, dead aliens lying on the deck of the Equinox, the smell of death in the air as the alien remains were converted step by step into energy. _So many of my younglings! The other nest took them, the bad nest. They hunted my younglings. I could not stop it. So I hunted their younglings, but still I could not stop it._

 _Then your nest came,_ the queen said. _You helped them. You stopped my hunt. So we hunted you too._

We didn't know, Janeway told her. We didn't know they hurt you first. It wasn't right, what they did, the bad nest. It never should have happened.

 _I see that now,_ the queen said. _I see in your mind grief for my younglings. I did not expect that. And now my younglings have killed yours. It never should have happened. But I did not know you were people. I only knew you helped the bad nest._

I forgive you. Please forgive us.

 _Your nest, I can forgive. You did not take my younglings. I know your mind now. But the other nest, the bad nest, they must pay._

It is my responsibility to stop them, Janeway said. They are my kind. I will bring them to justice in the manner of my people.

 _They must be destroyed._

I would take them from their nest, the ones who decided to do this thing. They would lose their freedom. I would take their younglings away from them and put them in my own nest.

 _Their younglings have been contaminated by their evil. It would be a mercy to destroy them._ Suddenly the queen added, _But you tell me they have taken one of your younglings into their nest!_

Janeway was not conscious of having told her any such thing, yet now she could see clearly in her mind a picture of Seven of Nine.

 _She will be safe from us,_ the queen promised. _We will destroy the rest._

That isn't our way. Let me take all the younglings into my nest.

 _If the contaminated younglings hurt us again, we will destroy your nest, too._

I won't let them do it again. Never again.

She could feel the queen thinking, her mind flitting from possibility to possibility. At last, the queen addressed her again.

 _Your will is strong. You may hunt them first, but we will be watching. If they do not submit to you, I will destroy their nest. I see in your mind now how it can be done._ To Janeway's horror, an image of a ruptured plasma coolant tank flashed in her mind, followed by the white-hot explosion of a warp core breach.

No. Please. Don't destroy the nest.

 _If they do not submit to you, we must._

With a mighty wriggle, the queen rose up out of the tank and soared up into the air. She hovered briefly, blinking at Janeway, fluid dripping from her webbing like rain, and then she flitted through the fissure. It snapped shut behind her.

Slowly Tuvok's hand fell from her face, and Janeway felt herself alone once more with her thoughts. Beside her, Tuvok slowly sank down and sat on the floor, with his back against the chamber, and closed his eyes for sheer weariness. Janeway knew how he felt. She felt utterly drained, yet she knew that Tuvok had been taking the brunt of the queen's raging emotions.

But before she could rest, there was one more thing to take care of. She hit her combadge. "Janeway to Bridge."

"Chakotay here."

"What is the status of our warp engines?"

"Engineering reports another 20 minutes and we'll be ready to go."

"Good. I want you to shut down the multiphasic shielding around the entire ship."

"Captain?"

"Save the power for the warp engines. As soon as they're ready, go to maximum warp and follow the Equinox's trail. We don't need to worry about any more alien attacks. They have agreed to leave us alone."

"Understood."

Janeway ended the call. The Doctor straightened up from scanning Tuvok with his medical tricorder, and he scanned Janeway as well.

"Both of you are experiencing spikes in stress hormones and should get some rest right away," he said. "I told you this might be too much. You're fortunate the alien didn't unhinge your minds." Then the Doctor hesitated a moment, and asked: "Captain, did the alien say if they would also leave the Equinox alone?"

Janeway shook her head. "They're giving us one more chance to stop the Equinox ourselves. If we fail, the aliens will finish them."

The Doctor looked sober. "I see."

"Please accompany Commander Tuvok to his quarters, Doctor." Janeway touched Kim's arm. "Good work on the chamber, Harry. It worked perfectly. Have the Bridge contact me an hour before we catch up to the Equinox. I'll be in my quarters."

"Aye Captain."

 **TO BE CONTINUED**

* * *

 _ **A/N:** I welcome feedback!_


	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter 8**

Voyager sped through subspace at maximum warp, the sprinkling of stars they passed elongated into streaks of light that whipped past them. In their seats, Janeway and Chakotay followed their ship's progress on the star chart displayed on the console between them. They had almost caught up to the Equinox.

"Captain," Paris said, glancing back. "Their warp trail is petering out."

Janeway came to look over his shoulder, and Chakotay joined her. He was right. The warp particles of the Equinox showed definite signs of thinning. Their dilithium crystals must have begun to fail before they managed to manufacture more of the alien compound and bring the modified warp engines online.

"Drop out of warp at the end of that trail," Janeway said, and a minute later Paris obliged.

As they reverted to space, they could see the Equinox, crawling along at half-impulse. Their multiphasic shielding was once again lit up with crackling blue energy. But as Voyager coasted closer to them, abruptly the energy discharges vanished, and the Equinox was left to drift through space unhindered.

"Hail them," Janeway said.

She had been afraid Ransom wouldn't speak to her, but he answered immediately. In the foreground, Marla Gilmore could be seen manning her station at the Bridge.

"Are you here to give me back my men?" Ransom said without preamble.

Janeway put up a hand placatingly. "No, but I have something important-"

"Then just leave us alone!" Ransom cried. "I have torpedoes, Captain, and I don't want to use them, but if you insist on pursuing us-"

"Before you start firing, Captain, you need to hear me out," Janeway said. "You may have noticed that the aliens are no longer attacking us. That's because we've made first contact with them. They've given us a reprieve, but it is essential that you surrender to me, immediately, or the attacks will resume."

Ransom looked grim. "We've survived before, and we'll do it again."

"No, you won't," Janeway said sharply. "This time, they know how to breach your warp core, and they're willing to do it."

Ransom stared at her. "You?" he said incredulously. "You told them how to do that?"

"They're a telepathic race," Janeway said. "We couldn't conceal it from them. They're watching us right now. If you lower your shields and permit us to beam you aboard, they have agreed to spare your lives. I strongly urge you to take this offer, Captain. We're not going to get a better one."

Ransom slowly sank down into his captain's chair. He put his head down and ran his fingers through his short hair. Janeway waited, as tense as a snake, ready to spring. If Ransom chose to be stubborn, if he refused to see reason...

Finally, Ransom looked up. "I've been speaking with your Seven of Nine," he said slowly. "She is... unique. Do you know, she disassembled the modified plasma injectors so that we couldn't use them. We couldn't get her to help us put it back together. I was angry. I tried to-"

Ransom paused, his voice suddenly choked with emotion.

"-but I couldn't go through with it," he said at last, stumbling over the words. "She helped me understand... some things I had forgotten."

Ransom hung his head, looking weary. "I guess you know things have gotten out of hand when a drone has to explain right and wrong to you."

He looked over the side and spoke quietly to Marla Gilmore, sitting at her station. "Lower the shields."

"Aye sir," Gilmore said, and the relief was clear on her face.

Janeway knew how she felt. "Thank you, Captain."

"Their shields are down," Kim confirmed a few moments later.

"Begin transport, Mr. Kim," Janeway said. "Directly to Cargo Bay 1, and have security teams standing by."

"Yes, ma'am."

"Oh, and Captain," Ransom said suddenly, "you had better secure the EMH on your ship as well, if you haven't done so already."

"The Doctor?" Janeway said blankly. "Why?"

"Your Doctor is currently confined to my Sickbay," Ransom said, "and has been for quite some time. You have my EMH aboard. It's how we escaped last time; he helped us, he brought phasers to my crew."

Janeway was shocked. "That isn't possible, his programming wouldn't permit him..."

A look of shame crossed Ransom's face. "I'm afraid we... we deleted his ethical subroutines, so he would help us with our research. Be careful with him. There's no telling what he might do."

"Computer, locate the EMH," Chakotay said.

"The EMH is in Transporter Room 2," the computer responded.

"Get a security team down there!" Chakotay ordered, hitting his combadge. "Chakotay to Transporter Room 2!"

There was no response.

"Transporter Room, acknowledge!" Chakotay said, just as Tuvok's console beeped urgently.

"There is phaser fire in the Transporter Room," he warned.

The comline beeped. "Parsons to Bridge! Burke and the other prisoners are loose! They just sealed themselves in Transporter Room 2. They had the Doctor with them, and he was _shooting_ at us!"

"Harry, lock out transporter controls," Janeway said, but Kim was already shaking his head.

"Captain, they've sabotaged the equipment somehow," he said. "I've got nothing. They just beamed onto the Equinox, all four of the prisoners, plus the Doctor. I mean, the Equinox doctor."

"Did we get the Equinox crew on board at least?"

"We got... 28," Kim said. "All but three. We're missing Ransom, Gilmore and Seven."

Janeway turned back to the viewscreen, where Captain Ransom could still be seen on the Bridge. He had been listening to the conversation with growing alarm. Now he spoke up: "Computer, locate Commander Burke."

"Commander Maxwell Burke is in Engineering," the Equinox computer said.

"Captain, you can't let Burke activate that modified warp drive," Janeway warned. "If he does, the aliens will destroy the ship."

Ransom was already jumping to his feet. "I'm on it. I'll try to talk him out of it, Captain, but Max can be pretty stubborn." He strapped a phaser to his hip. "Computer, lock out Bridge controls, authorization Ransom gamma epsilon four." The computer beeped in response. "Marla, run down to Sickbay and remove Seven of Nine from her restraints with my apologies, and the two of you use our transporters to get back over to Voyager."

"Aye, sir."

* * *

The engine room of the Equinox was a hubbub of activity when Ransom ran into the room, with Burke shouting orders and Lessing, Brayt and Bowler scrambling to finish the job begun by the Equinox Engineering crew to reassemble the plasma injectors. Even the EMH, wearing the mobile emitter of Voyager's Doctor, was attempting to help.

"Max!" Ransom said. "Hold on just a minute, we have to talk."

Burke spared a glance over at Ransom as he tapped at a console. "Rudy, I can't access our primary systems for some reason. Janeway's going to blow us out of the sky if we don't get our shields up. Can you give me a hand?"

"No, Max, it's over," Ransom said, crossing over to him. "Our crew is already onboard Voyager-"

"I know," Burke said quickly, "but the computer says our transporters are still functional, and Voyager's shields are down. Do you think you can beam them back over here while I get the engines going? I sabotaged their transporters so they won't be able to get anyone back-"

"No!" Ransom said, stepping between Burke and the console. "Wait, Max. There's a problem. The aliens... Janeway talked to them. She got them to agree to stop attacking us-"

"Perfect," Burke said. "Then we have some time-"

"No, Max!" Ransom said again. "You don't understand. The aliens are waiting for us to surrender to Voyager. If you try to escape, they're going to breach the warp core."

Burke scoffed. "They have no idea how to do that."

"They do now! Janeway told them! Now we only have two choices. Either we go back to Voyager now, or they blow up the ship."

"Are you suggesting we just give up? And sit in her brig for the next 40 years?" Burke stared at Ransom in disbelief. "With all due respect, Rudy, have you lost your mind?"

"Just the opposite, actually. Look, Max. Whatever excuses and euphemisms we've been using all this time... what we've been doing is wrong. You know that and I know that. Remember how we discussed what we would do when we got home? How we would have to evacuate in escape pods and blow up the ship, to hide the evidence? Why were we so anxious to cover up what we've done, if there was nothing wrong with it?"

"We did what we had to do to get home," Burke snapped. "That doesn't mean Starfleet Command will understand that, or Janeway for that matter. We had to do it!"

"But we didn't have to!" Ransom said. "We had a choice, and we still have a choice. All we have to do is beam back over to Voyager-"

"There is no way I am going back there!" Burke snarled. "You think Janeway is going to welcome you back, all full of forgiveness? The woman is certifiable, she nearly killed me over there!" He shook his head. "No, Rudy. I'm going home, and you can either help me... or get out of my way."

Ransom didn't move a muscle. "This isn't a request, Max. It's an order."

Burke raised an eyebrow. "You're going to pull rank on me now? After everything we've been through?"

Ransom spoke over his shoulder to the others. "Noah, John, Arnod, stop what you're doing. We're all going to the transporter room, now."

"Belay that order!" Burke said. "Arnod, what's our status?"

Brayt hesitated, looking back and forth between Ransom and Burke, his blue skin beginning to flush purple with distress.

"Arnod!" Burke said.

Lessing spoke up hastily. "We've fed 20 isograms of the compound into the engines and we're ready to begin powering up, sir, but it will take several minutes before we can go to warp."

"Thank you, Noah. Begin the procedure," Burke said.

In a flash, Ransom pulled out his phaser and pointed it at Burke's chest. "Noah, don't touch that control! Everybody, get away from the consoles!"

Burke didn't break eye contact with Ransom. "Or what? What are you going to do, Rudy? Shoot me?"

"If I have to," Ransom said quietly.

Suddenly, Bowler pulled out his phaser and pointed it at Ransom. "Drop it, Rudy!"

"Do you really want to do that?" Ransom said sharply. "Max isn't in command, John, I am."

"I don't care who's in command!" Bowler burst out. "I'm sorry, Rudy, but I just want to go home. We all do!"

"Noah, start warming up the engines," Burke said.

"Aye, sir."

"You'll kill us all!" Ransom shouted, but Lessing didn't look up from his controls, and a moment later, the warp core began to power up with a deep thrum.

"Good," Burke said, never taking his eyes away from Ransom. "Now go to the transporter room and start beaming the crew back over here."

With a nod, Lessing left Engineering at a run. Bowler remained, his phaser fixed on Ransom. The Equinox EMH stood near the back of the room, watching the standoff with an implacable expression on his holographic face. Faintly, they all heard the whine that preceded the alien fissures. Ransom risked a quick glance over at Brayt, who had stood apart silently all this time. "Arnod, power down the core!"

Brayt swallowed nervously. "Sir, I don't know..."

A louder whine lanced through the air, and instinctively the four of them crouched down.

"Turn off the core, now!" Ransom shouted. "The aliens are going to-"

A fissure blossomed open in mid-air, right next to Brayt, who shouted in alarm and dove away from it, rolling across the floor. He was too slow. The emerging alien brushed up against him, and when Brayt rolled to a stop he remained there, motionless.

Everyone scattered. Burke and Bowler took shelter under the main engineering console. Ransom made a wild dash for the secondary station near the doors. In the back, the EMH took one wide-eyed look at the shrieking alien that flitted around the room and rapidly tapped the controls on the mobile emitter mounted to his upper arm. Instantly his image fitzed out and the mobile emitter dropped to the deck.

"Rudy, put up the shields!" Burke shouted from under his console as multiple fissures began to open.

"Not until you turn off the core!" Ransom shouted back.

Everyone was firing at the fissures now, but so many of them were opening that the four of them couldn't keep up. Aliens flitted through the room, their dark bodies smashing into equipment and sending sparks flying through the air, while amber phaser beams lanced through the air, sometimes hitting their targets and sometimes missing, carving red-hot lines into the ceiling and the bulkheads.

"Put up the shields!" Burke shouted again over the cacophony.

"No!"

The doors behind Rudy hissed open, and the next thing he knew Marla Gilmore and Seven of Nine were crouching down behind the console with him, clutching phasers.

"Marla, what are you doing here?" Ransom demanded. "I told you to leave-"

"Seven wouldn't leave without her Doctor, he's stuck in Sickbay," Gilmore said, looking nervously around her. "We have to get the mobile emitter back from our EMH."

"It's lying on the deck, over there," Ransom said, gesturing to the back of the room. "But you'll never make it, there are too many of them!"

"The possibility of failure is irrelevant," Seven said. "I will not abandon my friend." Ransom and Gilmore both grabbed at her arm, but it was too late; she shook them off and began to advance across the room at a crouch, eyes alert and phaser pointing warily around her. After only a second's hesitation, Gilmore swallowed her terror and followed after her, walking backward, covering Seven's back.

Aliens shrieked and dived all around the two of them, but they had managed to make it almost across the room when suddenly two fissures opened simultaneously in front and behind them. Gilmore and Seven fired steadily, but as they were doing so a third fissure opened right next to them.

"Marla! Look out!" Ransom shouted, but they didn't hear him over the noise of the attack. He rose up slightly and fired his phaser over the console at the third fissure.

Ransom never saw the fissure that opened behind him, and he never saw the snarling alien that smashed into his back. For a moment his whole body was lit with crackling golden energy, and then he flopped forward onto the deck, his face shriveled and lifeless.

"Rudy!" Gilmore screamed. "No! Rudy!"

She half-collapsed on the deck, going down on one knee, her phaser slipping from her numb fingers. Seven, holding a phaser in one hand and the newly acquired mobile emitter in the other, slid her hands under Gilmore's armpits and attempted to drag her back to her feet. "We must go!" she shouted. Her hair had tumbled half out of its twist, obscuring her ocular implant. "Comply!" Suppressing a sob, Gilmore clutched desperately at Seven's arm and tried to get up.

A fissure opened right above them and an alien emerged, swooping down directly in front of Seven, only a foot away from her face. Dropping Gilmore unceremoniously at her feet, Seven brought her phaser up to bear... and then hesitated.

The alien was not attacking. It merely hovered in front of Seven, blinking at her with dark beady eyes for a long moment. She stared back, thumb hovering over the phaser's activator. And then, without a sound, the alien swooped away and smashed itself into a console instead.

The computer beeped. "Warp engines are at full power," it said.

At the main engineering console, Burke dared to rise up into a crouch and press several buttons, and the plasma in the warp core swirled to life. The low thrum of the engines began to rise in pitch preparing for the jump to warp.

"Shut it down, Commander!" Seven shouted. When Burke ignored her, she fired her phaser into his chest. Burke collapsed onto the console, and an instant later an alien smashed into him, lighting him up with energy. His shriveled body slid down the console onto Bowler, who cried out wordlessly and shrank further back into his shelter.

Seven, heedless of the aliens, darted over to the main console, stepped over Burke's body, and rapidly input the commands to cancel the jump to warp. Panting for breath, Gilmore followed her and stood against her back to provide cover, but it wasn't necessary; each time an alien approached them, it took one look at Seven and then flew off again.

In fact, all the aliens seemed to be congregating in the back of Engineering now, and they were taking it in turn to smash themselves into a particular wall panel, dart back into a fissure, and then return for another blow.

"I believe I powered down the-" Seven began to say to Gilmore, when a massive explosion from the back of the room knocked them off their feet. Debris rained down all around and on top of them.

For several moments, they lay stunned on the deck. Then dazedly, they got to their feet and stared in horror at the destruction the aliens had wrought. Twisted duranium beams jutted out from a gaping hole in the far bulkhead. Dead aliens and rubble both lay scattered across the deck... and a noxious green gas was billowing into the room from where the plasma coolant tank was located.

"Coolant leak!" Gilmore shouted. She bent down to where Bowler was sitting under the console and grabbed his hand. "We have to get out of here!" she shouted.

A deafening alarm sounded, and they heard the computer's voice reverberating through the room: "Warning: Warp core breach in three minutes."

And yet, Bowler didn't move. Gilmore tugged his hand urgently, and suddenly he flopped forward and lay motionless on the deck. There was a shard of duranium sticking out of his chest. Gilmore stared as Seven bent down and checked his pulse.

"He is dead," Seven said matter-of-factly. "We must go."

The two of them staggered for the exit, still disoriented from the percussive force of the explosion, but this time there were no aliens to avoid. They had all vanished, along with the fissures.

As they stumbled out the door, Gilmore looked back to see the billowing green gas already beginning to dissolve the four bodies strewn across the floor. Then the emergency bulkhead slammed down over the doors, shutting them out from her sight. They fled down the corridor, nearly tripping over Noah Lessing's desiccated body as they ran.

"Warning: Warp core breach in two minutes, thirty seconds."

* * *

Janeway stared at Harry Kim. "What did you say?"

"Warp core breach imminent, Captain!" Kim repeated. He glanced at his console again, and added grimly, "The fissures have vanished, but I've lost all but two lifesigns on the Equinox. One human, one Borg."

Janeway sat limply in the captain's chair. Dozens of thoughts crowded into her brain and she knew one of them contained a decision about what they needed to do next, but she couldn't seem to pick out the right one. She sent a silent look of appeal at Chakotay, but he seemed as frozen as she was. She had never before seen quite that look on his face, an almost wild-eyed cross between surprise and pain, and the sight did nothing to snap her out of her own shock.

"Less than three minutes to the breach," Kim said, and looked over at them expectantly.

Chakotay moved, just a twitch at first, but then his jaw clenched and he stood up to face Kim.

"Get Ransom," he said tersely.

Kim tapped his controls, waited, and shook his head. "No response."

"Get Gilmore." They had already tried to contact Seven, earlier, but concluded her combadge must have been deactivated when she was taken prisoner.

"Gilmore here."

Relief stabbed through Janeway, and suddenly she found she could speak again.

"Ensign, what's happening over there?" she demanded. "We're detecting a warp core breach."

"The aliens triggered a coolant leak," Gilmore said. She was panting for breath, as though she were running. "We had to evacuate Engineering."

"Where is Seven of Nine?"

"I am here, Captain. I have the mobile emitter, but we must get to Sickbay to download the Doctor."

"First things first, Seven. You need to eject the warp core."

"We cannot," Seven said.

"Warning: Warp core breach in two minutes."

"What do you mean, you can't?" Janeway demanded. "Marla, you should have the authorization codes. You need to eject the core!"

"I do, but we can't!" Gilmore panted. "When we modified the warp core to process the alien compound, we had to remove the ejection assembly to make it work. There's nothing we can do!"

Chakotay spoke up. "Seven, could you get into the Jeffries tubes and release the core clamps manually?"

"Not in the time remaining," Seven said flatly. "You will have to beam us directly from Sickbay as soon as I have the Doctor."

"We can't beam anyone anywhere," Chakotay said. "Burke set off a photon grenade by the targeting scanner. Are the Equinox transporters working?"

"Yes," Gilmore said.

"Then you must report to the Transporter Room, Ensign," Seven said. "When I signal you that I have the Doctor, you will have to initiate a site-to-site for myself and the Doctor and then transport yourself to Voyager. Do you understand?"

Gilmore's voice was faint. "Yes."

"Warning: Warp core breach in one minute, thirty seconds."

The comline went silent. Janeway knew there was nothing they could do now but wait and hope that Seven, the Doctor and Gilmore, at least, made it out alive. But the Equinox... there must be a way, yet, to save the ship as well.

Her mind raced, but she couldn't think of anything. Everything she had ever learned about warp cores indicated that once a coolant leak began, there was no stopping it. But there must be _something_ they could do. Involuntarily she looked over at Chakotay. He looked back at her, and she knew from the look on his face that he knew that their chance was slipping away.

"Captain, shouldn't we be moving away?" Paris asked.

"One minute," Kim said.

Suddenly Chakotay strode over to Tactical. "What if we used our phaser banks to cut out the warp core? I know it's never been tried before, but in theory-"

Tuvok shook his head. "The heat we generated would only hasten the breach."

Janeway stood to pace back and forth. "There must be something we can do," she said.

"The ship is lost," Tuvok said quietly. "I am sorry, Captain."

Janeway closed her eyes briefly, but when she opened them again her tone was all business. "Mr. Paris, take us to the edge of transporter range. Be ready to go to full impulse as soon as we have the survivors."

"Yes, ma'am."

"Thirty seconds," Kim said.

The tension on the Bridge grew as the seconds passed. Then Kim's voice broke the silence. "I have them, Captain!"

Janeway felt her body tense like a spring. "Mr. Paris, go!"

The impulse engines roared to full power and in the aft viewscreen the Equinox rapidly dwindled in the distance.

When the time was up, there was a pause, lasting only a heartbeat, until a fireball blossomed from the heart of the Equinox and shattered it apart, white-hot sparks scattering across the blackness of space in an explosion that lit up the Bridge. Pieces of the hull hurtled into Voyager's deflector screens and vaporized in flares of light.

Voyager shuddered slightly as the shock wave passed.

The Bridge crew sat in silence and watched the bright billowing cloud of burning matter gradually turn black and the embers slowly dwindle into ash. The glare of the explosion faded and everything and everyone on the Bridge seemed to slip into shadow in the contrast.

"All stop," Janeway said, and though she spoke quietly her voice seemed overly loud in that silence. "Commander, you have the Bridge."

She fled to the safety of her Ready Room.

 **TO BE CONTINUED**

* * *

 _ **Author's note:** Only one chapter to go! Thanks for reading, and if you liked this story, rest assured that I already have a significant portion of the sequel written, and it's a doozy: 50,000 words and counting. Yes, it will be J/C. I'm very excited about it and I hope you'll give it a try when I start posting._


	9. Chapter 9

**Chapter 9**

 _Captain's log, stardate 53009.2_

 _After speaking with Seven of Nine and the Doctor, we've been able to piece together the series of events that led to the destruction of the Equinox. It seems that when the Doctor first beamed aboard the Equinox and discovered the atrocities that had been committed there, he never returned to Voyager after making his report as we believed. The Equinox EMH, having had his ethical subroutines deleted, attacked the Doctor, stole his mobile emitter, and took his place on Voyager. The Equinox crew escaped custody when he brought them phasers hidden in his medkit. They returned to their ship, but were initially unaware that Seven of Nine was onboard._

 _When Seven became aware of their plans to resume use of the alien compound in the modified warp core, she was able to disassemble their plasma injectors before being caught. Ransom tried to convince her to join the Equinox crew and help them rebuild the engine, but she refused. He then attempted to coerce her by deleting the ethical subroutines of our Doctor and instructing him to alter Seven's cortical node in a dangerous procedure that could have left her permanently brain-damaged._

 _To Seven's credit, not only did she refuse to cooperate with Ransom, she worked to persuade him of the error of his ways. I believe her efforts were instrumental in Ransom's decision to surrender the Equinox, and consequently the lives of 30 of the Equinox crew have been spared. I've given her a special commendation for her actions. She's come a long way from the Borg drone we first brought on board and I couldn't be prouder._

 _Unfortunately, Maxwell Burke's decision to mutiny and his attempt to reactivate the modified warp drive resulted in the return of the nucleogenic aliens and five casualties: Rudy Ransom, Noah Lessing, John Bowler, Arnod Brayt, and Burke himself. In retribution for the wrongs that had been done to them, the aliens triggered a warp core breach and destroyed the Equinox._

 _All signs of the nucleogenic aliens and the fissures into their realm have vanished, and we have no reason to believe they will ever return._

* * *

The Bridge was quiet, almost too quiet. Most of the crew had work to do and they all, still stunned over the loss of the Equinox and five people aboard, were keeping their heads down and concentrating on their work with a minimum of chit-chat.

There wasn't much work for a pilot to do, however, since Voyager was simply maintaining position a short distance from the wreckage. Tom Paris glanced up toward Tactical and saw that Tuvok was absorbed in a conversation over the coms. It sounded like he was giving instructions to his security officers regarding the Equinox crewmembers they were once again holding in the Cargo Bay. Quickly and quietly, Paris rose to his feet and walked over to Ops, where Harry Kim was monitoring repairs to the Transporter Room from his console.

"Is it just me," Paris murmured for Kim's ears only, "or is something weird going on?"

"This is the Delta Quadrant," Kim replied, not pausing in his work. "Something weird is always going on."

"No, but I mean here on Voyager," Paris said. "Why on earth were we still trying to save the Equinox when it was clear she was lost?"

"Yeah, that was weird," Kim agreed. "I guess they thought it was important." He shrugged his shoulders. "At least we saved most of the crew. That was the important thing."

"And remember when the Captain almost took my head off yesterday? Over nothing?" Paris continued.

"So she was having a bad day. We all do sometimes."

"I don't think that's it," Paris said. "Did you hear Chakotay? He was being a complete jerk to her. I think they must be having one of their little spats, and somehow I got caught in the middle of it."

"Lucky you."

Just then, the turbolift door next to Ops swished open, and Commander Chakotay walked in. He glanced over at Paris and Kim standing together at Ops, looked down at the helm, and looked back at Paris, his arms spreading in annoyance.

"Why is no one at the conn?" he demanded.

"Sorry, sir." Paris hustled back down to his seat.

"I don't ever want to see your station unmanned again, Lieutenant."

"Yes, sir."

Chakotay gave Paris one last irritated look before striding across the Bridge and over to the door to the Ready Room. He pressed the chime and waited.

No voice came over the com to tell him to come in, although Paris knew the captain was in there to record a ship's log entry. He kept his eyes fixed on his console and started a diagnostic, although he had already run one just like it half an hour ago. Better let Chakotay see him acting busy.

The Commander pressed the chime again. Again, no answer.

In his peripheral vision, Paris could see Chakotay's lips tighten into a narrow line. He pressed the chime three times in a row, punching the button with his finger more forcefully than he needed to. Paris shrank down into his seat, stared at his console, and pretended not to notice the silent drama taking place five feet away from the helm.

Finally, Chakotay backed up a few steps, scratched at his head, and stood there for several moments. Then he suddenly stepped forward again, entered the override code, and went inside the Ready Room anyway.

Paris looked over his shoulder and, sure enough, Kim looked just as shocked as he did.

"Should we go to Red Alert?" Paris mouthed silently at him, and Kim grimaced in return.

* * *

Kathryn Janeway stood in her Ready Room and gazed out the window, where Voyager's running lights revealed twisted bits of the Equinox spinning and flashing in an ever-expanding sphere of rubble. Soon inertia would scatter the pieces so widely that it would no longer look like a shipwreck, just random bits of space debris that would tumble across the vacuum of space for eons until the gravity of some nearby star sucked it in.

At least Voyager would vaporize some of the remains of the Equinox with her deflectors when she resumed course through the debris, and put it out of its misery, Janeway thought. She knew what Tuvok would say about emotionally bonding with an inanimate object, but the destruction of the Equinox felt like a physical blow to her. She was sick over the loss of Ransom and the others, but she knew how to grieve for them. What she didn't know was how to grieve for the Equinox, and all the possibilities it had represented.

She heard the door swish open behind her, and then swish shut again. Turning slightly, she saw Chakotay standing there by the door.

She turned back to the window. "Go away."

There was a pause. "I would if I thought you really wanted me to."

"Why do you think I didn't answer your chimes?"

"You tell me," Chakotay said. "Weren't you saying just the other day that I should let myself in?"

She turned and looked at him in amazement. "I was speaking _metaphorically_."

"Kathryn, it's too late. I know better than that now."

She had no comeback for that, so she folded her arms and turned her back on him again. Maybe if she was rude enough to him, he would eventually leave.

He walked up the steps and joined her, but she steadfastly refused to look at him.

"Are you all right?" he asked, and his voice was gentle.

Janeway gestured at the remains of the Equinox floating outside her window. "What do you think?"

"Probably about as fine as I am," Chakotay said.

The statement stung her. She was being selfish, and she knew it. And she knew that the more she tried to protect herself from the conversation they needed to have, and weren't having, the more she would hurt him.

She took several calming breaths, steeled herself, and turned to face Chakotay. She opened her mouth to say something - what, she wasn't sure, although the phrases "I'm sorry" and "We need to define parameters" were definitely floating around in her brain - but before a word escaped her lips, he had his arms around her and he was pressing her up against his chest.

She knew she shouldn't let him do it. But emotions were already too close to the surface and rationality buried too deep, and she suddenly found herself clinging to him like a sailor clings to a life preserver. She buried her face against his shoulder and felt his hand curl around the back of her neck in response, and his lips pressing against her hair.

It was good to have his arms around her. Very good. And it killed her to think that this was the last time they were going to be able to do this.

He began dropping a series of soft kisses, first on her hair, then trailing down her cheek. She turned her head just before he got to her mouth, and with a gentle push she broke his hold on her and took a step backward.

"No," she said, and without thinking, she reached up and slid her fingers along her collar. One, two, three, four. All pips still securely in place.

"Look, Kathryn..." Chakotay hesitated, his brown eyes fixed on her blue. "Don't you think... that the crew might accept it, given the circumstances, if we..."

She knew what he was going to say, had anticipated it, and had her answer ready. "Out of the question. I think we've just seen Exhibit A as to why that's a bad idea, no matter what the crew might think of it."

"So that's it then?" he asked, and his voice was raw, exposed. "Just like that, it's over?"

"I don't have a _choice_ ," Janeway said, and her voice deepened in pain and anger. "I froze out there, Chakotay! We were in the middle of a crisis, and I wasn't thinking about my ship or my crew... I was thinking about _you_. And myself. It could have been disastrous! I can't afford to think that way. It isn't fair to everyone else on this ship."

Chakotay looked as if he wanted to argue, then reluctantly he nodded. "I know." He looked utterly defeated. "To be honest, I don't think I was thinking straight either."

Side by side, they watched the debris of the Equinox spinning in silent space for a few minutes, and then Chakotay spoke up again, just as if the conversation wasn't over, though clearly there was nothing left to say.

He said it simply, matter-of-factly: "I'll wait."

She really looked at him then, shocked. "You'll do no such thing."

"Give me one good reason why I shouldn't."

"I can give you 40,000 good reasons. You'll be an old man by the time we get back home, if not dead."

"Kathryn," he said patiently. "It is not going to take us 40 more years to get home."

"You sound very sure. You must know something I don't."

"I happen to know a certain someone who is very determined and very resourceful, and she's in command of a crew full of determined, resourceful people. Haven't we already come 35,000 lightyears in just six years?"

"Yes, but we can't duplicate anything we've done to get here!" she said. "Kes is gone for good, our route is as efficient as it can get, thanks to Seven's improvements to Astrometrics, and we'll never get the benamite we need to try the slipstream drive again, even if we dared to. We can't count on things like that continuing to happen. Delays are just as likely as shortcuts. Didn't we spend six months at a virtual standstill in Krenim space?"

"Don't underestimate yourself, or this crew. And besides, I've waited this long, haven't I? I can wait a little longer. It will be easier now that I know you feel the same way."

She hit him with a steely blue gaze, the kind she'd been using her entire adult life to subdue unruly subordinates. "I forbid it."

Maddeningly, he just shrugged. "Rage all you want, but you really can't stop me."

Janeway blew out a breath in aggravation, but she knew he was right. There were a lot of orders she could give him, but this wasn't one of them. That didn't mean she had to like it.

He softened his tone. "I'm just sorry that you have to wait, too," he said. "This situation is more than any captain should be asked to handle. It was... good to see you happy for a little while."

"I'll be fine," she said automatically. "I'm getting used to it. Mostly I was looking forward to having a more... equitable relationship with you. I don't like being the one doing all the taking, and none of the giving."

Chakotay's brow creased. "What are you talking about?"

"You know what I mean. It's been like that since the beginning with us. You take care of me, you scold me when I make bad decisions, or when I push myself too hard, and you... keep me sane when everything else is falling apart. There isn't much I can do for you."

"You can't be serious. You really don't know what you do for me?" He shook his head, and then turned thoughtful. "Kathryn... the last person I was with burned me pretty badly, as you may recall. I've had years now to think about where I went wrong, not just with Seska but with everything in my life, and to figure out what kind of person I wanted to be, and what kind of person I wanted to be _with_. And everything pointed me to you. You know, it wasn't surprising to me, all these years, that you hadn't fallen for me. I've known all along that I'm aiming higher than I ever have before. And yes, it was frustrating that I couldn't have you, but I found out that friendship can fill a lot more holes in my life than I ever realized. I have never had a friend like you. You've given me more than you know."

She looked at him with aching eyes and whispered, "I would have given you so much more."

"You will. When we get home."

Impatiently she shook her head. "I may not have a choice about being alone, but you do. You can find someone else to be happy with. I would never ask you to wait for me."

"You're not asking. I'm telling you. I don't want to be happy with someone else."

She threw up her hands in exasperation. "Your father was right about you. You are a contrary."

"Guilty as charged."

He watched as she absorbed all this, waiting to see if she would continue to resist, but all that happened was that she squared her shoulders and lifted her chin, and he could practically see Kathryn fading out and Captain Janeway taking her place.

"Did you come in here just to be contrary with me, Commander, or was there another reason?" she asked in a business-like tone.

He matched her tone and manner. "Repairs are under way on our transporters, and Torres and Seven are working on restoring the Doctor's program," he said. "The Equinox crew is waiting under guard in Cargo Bay 1. What would you like done with them?"

Janeway considered for a long moment. "Whatever they might have done or not done, they've been through a lot, and now they've just lost their captain and four more of their crewmates," she said at last. "Why don't you go down and talk to them and give them our condolences. Have them help you make plans for the memorial services. Then make assignments for quarters and give them to Neelix. I'll come down at 16:00 and give them their talking-to. Have Neelix wait for me in the corridor." After a moment's thought, she added, "and tell Neelix to bring Naomi with him, if it's all right with Samantha."

"Don't you think bringing in an eccentric chef and an adorable little girl will inhibit your ability to play the bad cop?" Chakotay asked, smiling ever so slightly.

"Let's both be the good guys this time," Janeway said. "You be the nice one and I'll be the stern one. We should play to our strengths, don't you think?"

Chakotay's smile stretched wide so that both dimples popped out. "Aye, Captain."

* * *

Janeway spent several hours at her computer clearing up a small matter that was weighing on her conscience and then preparing her message to the Equinox crew. When 16:00 approached, she emerged onto the Bridge and saw that Chakotay was back on the Bridge, seated in his chair. She crossed over to him.

"Played your part?" she asked him.

"Yes, ma'am."

"How did it go?"

"Well, I think. None of them have given any trouble to the security officers. Marla told them everything that happened, and they seem more shell-shocked than anything else right now. I arranged with them to hold the memorial services the day after tomorrow."

Janeway nodded. "Good. And their quarters?"

"Ready to go. Some of the crew will be doubled up for now, but as soon as we convert some storage spaces into quarters everyone will have a little more room to breathe. Neelix has the assignments and he should be waiting for you down there now."

"Good work, Commander."

There was one more thing to do before she left the Bridge. Janeway went down to the conn and said, "Mr. Paris."

Paris turned around and looked at her warily. "Yes, Captain?"

"I just ran a few simulations," she said, pitching her voice loud enough to be heard by the other officers, "and you were right. A 65-degree angle ascent through a parthogenic atmosphere isn't any riskier than a 60-degree vector. Feel free to use that maneuver whenever you feel it appropriate."

She half-expected Paris to respond with some subtle I-told-you-so attitude, but miracle of miracles, he gave her an oddly sympathetic smile and merely said: "Thank you, ma'am."

She nodded, and patted him on his shoulder. "You keep me on my toes, Mr. Paris."

"I do my best, Captain."

Janeway went up to Tactical asked Tuvok to accompany her down to Cargo Bay 1. As the turbolift descended, Tuvok spoke out loud: "Computer, halt turbolift."

Janeway looked at him expectantly. "Something on your mind, Commander?"

"Yes, Captain." Tuvok cleared his throat. "As you know, Vulcans value privacy deeply, and as such, we do not speak of what we experience during mind melds. However, there is one thing I feel I should say to you after our latest experience."

"Yes?"

"I am your friend, Captain, and I value your happiness. If you should ever need to speak to anyone, about anything, I am always available."

Janeway looked into his dark eyes steadily. So he had picked up on her thoughts. How much had he seen? How much did he guess? Enough, apparently, to be worried about her.

She thought she should be disquieted by the loss of privacy, but she knew that of all the people on the ship, Tuvok was the one who could most be trusted to be discreet. And tactful.

She gave Tuvok a small smile and patted his arm. "Thank you, old friend. I just might take you up on that."

Tuvok nodded once, having said his say, and resumed the turbolift.

* * *

When Tuvok and Janeway entered Cargo Bay 1, they found the rescued members of the Equinox standing and sitting amid the storage barrels and crates. A few were talking quietly, but most were silent. They looked every bit as miserable as they had the day Voyager had responded to their distress call and beamed them all into Sickbay, Janeway thought.

"Captain on deck," Tuvok said.

Everyone stirred, turning their heads to see, and some of them slowly got to their feet. Others just sat there dully, waiting to see what was about to happen.

"You will stand at attention," Tuvok said sternly.

There was hesitation, then a flurry of activity as all 30 of them hustled to form themselves into three lines and stand at attention, heads up, backs and arms straight and feet together.

Tuvok gave a satisfied nod when they were all at last ready. "I am Lieutenant Commander Tuvok, chief of security. Lax discipline is not tolerated on this ship. Crewmembers will show the proper respect to their superiors and address them by their rank or "sir." Captain Janeway prefers to be referred to as "ma'am." You will be expected to abide by all rules and regulations with the utmost care and to follow every order given to you." Tuvok paused for a moment. "Captain Janeway will now address you. You will give her your full attention."

Janeway stepped forward and began to speak.

"Some of you may be aware that I have onboard my ship a number of people who are designated criminals by the Federation. Although I was under orders to arrest them, given the unique circumstances of being stranded so far from Federation territory, I accepted them as members of my crew out of a sense of practicality. They needed me and I needed them. From the beginning I offered them all the rights and privileges of every other crewmember on this ship. They were given uniforms and duty assignments, and received the same access to ship's resources as everyone else. Two of them betrayed that trust and mutinied. A third murdered his fellow crewmember. They are... no longer with us. The rest have proved their loyalty, and six years later, they are not only valued crewmembers but also good friends. We no longer distinguish between Maquis and Starfleet. We are one crew.

"The similarities of this situation are not lost on me. Every one of you will face a court martial upon our return to the Alpha Quadrant to determine what role, if any, you played in the atrocities that have occurred. I am not the judge of that, but it is my responsibility to decide what will happen to you in the meantime. What would you have me do with you? Put you under lock and key for the rest of the journey home? I would be within my rights to do so."

She paused a moment to let that sink in.

"I would prefer to accept each of you as members of my crew, with all the duties and privileges that entails. However, there is a condition. Each of you will be required to renew the Starfleet oath you took upon your graduation from the Academy to uphold the principles of the Federation. I would like to emphasize at this time that if a commanding officer on this ship should ever give you an order that contradicts the contents of that oath, it is not only your right but your duty to raise an objection, and I expect you to do so. You have 24 hours to make your decision. Understood?"

A chorus of "yes ma'am"s greeted her.

Janeway stepped out into the corridor where Neelix and Naomi were waiting, and brought them in.

"For those of you who haven't met him," she said, putting her arm around Neelix, "this is Neelix, our chef, morale officer and ambassador. He'll assign you your new quarters and your replicator rations. And this is Naomi Wildman, Captain's Assistant." She put her other arm around Naomi, who smiled brightly and waved at the Equinox crew. Despite staying rigidly at attention, some of them smiled hesitantly back at her - especially Marla Gilmore. "Naomi will give you all a complete tour of the ship now, after which you will be taken to the Mess Hall for dinner, and then to your quarters for the night. Tomorrow, Commander Chakotay will check in with you and give duty assignments to those who agree to my conditions. Any questions?"

There were none. Then Marla Gilmore spoke up. "Captain," she said. "I don't need to think about it, ma'am. I'll do it. I'll take the oath." Other heads were nodding. James Morrow. Angelo Tessoni. Some others Janeway didn't know by sight yet.

She smiled slightly. "Very good. Welcome aboard." She paused. "If there are no more questions, then you may stand at ease."

She left Tuvok supervising as Neelix read out names and room assignments from his PADD, while Naomi enthusiastically shook hands with each one of them in turn.

* * *

In Sickbay, Torres and Seven were intent on a console, tinkering with the Doctor's program, while the Doctor himself was wandering around the biobeds, singing volubly in Italian along with instrumentation blaring from the speakers in the room. Janeway recognized the song as the tenor's aria from _Turandot_ , "Nessun Dorma."

She joined Torres and Seven at the console. "How's it coming?" she asked quietly.

"We have nearly completed restoration of the Doctor's ethical subroutines," Seven reported. "We turned on the music to keep him distracted."

" _...guardi le stelle che tremano d'amore e di speranza,_ " the Doctor warbled in the background, and Janeway knew enough Italian to translate silently: Watch the stars that tremble with love and with hope.

"Okay," Torres said at last. "I think we've got it." She pressed a button on the console, and the Doctor flickered briefly as the updates to his program activated.

"Perhaps we should test it, to be certain," Seven said.

"Good idea," Torres said, and came around the console. "Doctor!" she called out over the music.

" _Ed il mio bacio scioglierà il silenzio-_ " the Doctor sang, and then stopped, looking annoyed. "What is it, lieutenant? Can't you see I'm building up to the climax?"

"Sorry, Doc," Torres said, "but we need to see if you're back to normal." Suddenly the swell of music halted as Seven hit a button on the console.

"Very well," the Doctor said. "Proceed."

Torres looked blank for a moment, and then after a little thought she shrugged and said, "Hit me."

"Hit you?" the Doctor repeated.

"Yes. Hit me."

"I can't hit you!" the Doctor exclaimed. "That might cause you harm."

"Do it, Doctor," Janeway put in. "That's an order."

"You know that's an order I can't follow, Captain," the Doctor said, looking stern. "It's a violation of my programming!"

Janeway smiled and patted Seven on the back. "Good work, Seven, B'Elanna."

A growing look of horror was spreading across the Doctor's face. "Wait a minute. Seven! I nearly gave you brain damage! On the Equinox-"

"Your program was altered," Seven said calmly. "I do not blame you."

The Doctor's face fell. "It's quite disconcerting to know that all someone has to do is flick a switch to turn me into Mister Hyde," he said.

"I can help you enhance your program with security protocols to ensure it does not happen again," Seven said.

"I would be most grateful."

Seeing everything was well in hand, Janeway left the three of them working in Sickbay and went out to walk the corridors. They were nearly deserted; Beta Shift had begun and everyone on Alpha Shift was probably either in the Mess Hall or their quarters by now, or perhaps enjoying a little down time in the holodecks. This was the weeknight Paris always ran the Sandrine's simulation, and Janeway knew she'd be welcome to go in and play pool as usual, but tonight she felt raw and overstimulated and she just wanted to be alone. It had been a long day, and she was ready for it to be over.

She tapped in her security code and the door to her quarters opened. Inside, all was quiet. Too quiet. She could clearly hear the steady ticking of the replica of Captain Cray's pocketwatch that she kept on her nightstand, and the usually soothing sound threatened to aggravate the headache she already felt beginning to pulse at her temples.

"Computer, play 'Nessun Dorma,'" she said.

The gentle strains of the violins filled the room as she went into the head to undress. The tenor in the recording had a nice voice, very expressive, but somehow it lacked the oomph of the Doctor's version. She should ask the Doctor sometime to record himself. She knew he would be thrilled at the compliment to his singing, not that his ego needed any help, and then she could listen to it anytime she wanted.

She tied the sash of her ivory dressing gown around her waist and picked up a brush, smoothing out her roughened hair. Then she turned on the sink to wash her face and brush her teeth. She finished the nightly ritual by pulling a pair of earring studs out of a drawer and fastening them on.

She stood for a long moment, looking into the mirror, as the music played on in the background. How different she looked like this, even to her own eyes. Softer. More Kathryn. Not very captainly at all. And she thought of what Chakotay had said, how strange it was that after so many years together there were still things he didn't know about her, things she had kept carefully barricaded behind uniforms and policies and closed doors. Things that would have to stay barricaded a little longer, maybe a lot longer. No matter what Chakotay said, there were still 40,000 lightyears between herself and freedom.

She went back into her bedroom and climbed into bed, pulling up the comforter and then turning off the light. The tenor was just reaching the finale as she laid down and closed her eyes, and Calaf's parting phrases rang out in exultant tones:

 _Dilegua, o notte!_

 _Tramontate, stelle!_

 _All'alba vincerò!_

 _Vincerò! Vincerò!_

Long after the final note faded, the words echoed in her mind as she began to drift off.

 _Vanish, o night!_

 _Set, stars!_

 _At dawn I shall win!_

 _I shall win! I shall win!_

She slept.

 **THE END**

* * *

 _ **Author's note:** If you enjoyed this story, keep an eye out for the AU Voyager homecoming story I am in the process of writing, which will finish out my Star Trek: Voyager trilogy. It will be an original story, bearing little resemblance to the "Endgame" episode. And please, leave your comments on this story in the review box! I hope you enjoyed reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it._


End file.
